


The One that Got Away

by Unicorn (Jensee)



Series: The One that got Away [1]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst, Ben is Alive because I can, Canon-Typical Violence, I cried a lot writing this, I dont know if it says something about me or about the fic, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Light Kidnapping, Love, M/M, Other, but do take tissues just in case, lots of love, not always good, rating did change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-01 19:28:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17873399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jensee/pseuds/Unicorn
Summary: By all definition of the word, Juno is the happiest he's been in a long time. His brother is fine, his boyfriend is fine, he is okay.Of course that's when his past decides to come back into his life.[April 2019 UPDATE: two missing scenes have been added to the last chapter, and I've made some edits for the whole work]





	1. I'm sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, here's my piece for the Penumbra Mini-bang, once again at the very last mintue but technically I'm still on time (this is a lie I'm super late). This story is four chapter long and chapter will be published everyday until saturday, for the final chapter.
> 
> Thanks to Karin for the art! here is the link https://ladyraincloud.tumblr.com/post/183105817106/image-id-juno-steel-is-a-black-person-wearing-a
> 
> And thank you so much for everyone in the penumbra bang for listening to me whine about stuff, and saving me when I didn't know how english worked anymore. Special thanks to StormsBreadth and TackyJackpack for their support and corrections. This was, a ride.

Juno woke up bruised and dehydrated.

That is, more bruised and dehydrated than usual. Upon closer inspection, he was also held upright by ropes, and blindfolded. So there was that.

It had been a while since he’d last been kidnapped, Juno mused. He couldn’t remember the actual kidnapping either, so he might have gotten concussed in the process. That, or he’d been drinking. Had he been drinking? Ending the night blackout drunk wasn’t as regular as it once had been, but Juno had to admit it still happened from time to time.

“I think he’s awake.”

Right. Kidnapped.

“Is he? I’ll go tell the boss.”

The voices weren’t as gruff as Juno had expected them to be. Maybe he wasn’t even there to get beaten up. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time the powerful of Hyperion City went straight to the point when it came to business. Hell, maybe Juno was merely a bargaining chip this time, and he wouldn’t have anything to do for once.

Wouldn’t _that_ be nice.

A flash of the previous evening came back to him: a bar, a few drinks, some other patrons chatting him up, getting friendly. Juno gruffly turning them down.

“Juno,” said a voice, and he stiffened. He knew that tone. He knew that _voice_. “Why did you blindfold him? Surely it isn’t necessary…”

A voice from the past, something that called back to different times, different pains. Light steps came close, and a hand unknotted the fabric at the back of his head, letting the blindfold that had been impairing Juno’s vision fall away.

Diamond Diaz caressed his face tenderly, looking at his missing eye with an expression of distress.

“Oh Juno… What did they do to you?”

* * *

Juno could feel silk-like hair cascading around him, softly stroking his face in a last, achingly sweet caress.

“I love you, Juno Steel,” murmured Diamond, “I will always love you.”

_Don’t leave._

“I hope you’ll remember just how incredible you are.”

_Don’t leave me._

* * *

“Diamond.” Juno croaked. There was a sentence supposed to follow the name, he was sure of it. But it seemed like those two syllables had dried up Juno’s tongue.

“It’s okay Juno. I don’t expect you to explain anything.” Diamond looked perfectly calm, but there was a tension to them, something that Juno feared might be anger. He didn’t know what they were capable of anymore. He wasn’t sure he ever had been.

“In fact, I have to apologize. Kidnapping you was rather rude, I’ll admit, but I can’t have you getting involved.”

“Getting involved in what?” Juno asked. His voice was cracked up and rough, weak.

“Come on Juno, you’ve become a PI, right? Don’t you know what I do now? I’m here to get you rid of Pilot Pereyra.”

“What?” Juno felt like a broken record, numb and uncomprehending.

“Well, not just them. We need to wipe out the whole lot of those mafiosi trying to grab at the mayor hall. I’m here to clean Hyperion. Probably the cops too. Whole lot of tidying up, your city needs…”

“But…”

“It’s okay Juno.” Diamond’s hand reached out to him, and they looked sad when Juno jerked his head away. “You don’t have to do anything. It won’t be your fault, and you don’t need to get hurt, okay? None of this will be your fault.”

Juno stared, bemused.

“What are you talking about? Have you actually gone crazy?”

Diamond looked surprised, then they smiled: a genuine, amused smile.

“Maybe I have.” They made a small signal with their hands, and the two other mercenaries they had with them left the room. Their expression softened. “But for what it’s worth, I wouldn’t regret it if it’s the price for meeting you.”

They got behind Juno. He tensed immediately, but instead of getting stabbed in the back, he felt the ropes around him getting slack.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Juno, I just had to get you out of the way to make sure you’d be okay. You could even call it a vacation, if you like.”

Juno tried to come up with a quip but nothing seemed to be enough to express his bewilderment.

“You kidnapped me.” Was what he finally managed to stutter out.”

That brought a bit of a grimace on Diamond’s face.

“That was a rather poor way to conduct our reunion, I’ll admit, but I’m afraid I didn’t have much of a choice. For what it's worth, I am sorry.”

They sounded sincere, but then, they always did, and Juno had never been more suspicious of anyone else’s friendliness.

“And despite the circumstances, Juno, it is very nice to see you again.”

Then they left, giving him a sad smile as they closed the door, and Juno was left alone.

As soon as the heavy metal door closed, Juno began moving. He pulled at the slackening ropes, and in only a few tugs, his hands were free.  
The room around him was small and had no windows, the only light a naked bulb hanging from the ceiling. All in all, it looked more like a dingy student room that any jail cell Juno had had the displeasure to visit. In one of the corners sat a bed, one that looked honestly more comfortable that the one Juno was able to afford for his own dingy flat. Juno could see a small corner table as well. On it was a pitcher full of filtered, clear water, an empty glass, and a small basket with a few fruits and a small loaf of bread.

“You really prepared everything, didn’t you?”

Despite the fact that Diamond had apparently no qualms about kidnapping him, it didn’t seem like they had made any effort to search the contents of Juno’s pockets for the very notable exception of taking his comms out of them. He found his miniature plasma cutter where it usually sat, in his left interior pocket.

The door seemed to be made out of thick metal, same as the wall. It was well maintained and painted a soothing, pale yellow, but it looked old and rusted in some places. If Juno had to make a guess, he’d say it was probably part of some anti-radiation bunker, at the edge of Hyperion’s domes.

In any case, it had no catch for Juno to take advantage of: it was made in such a way that he couldn’t access any gap to cut a lock or a bar, and it was obvious, in front of this blank metal surface, that it wasn’t made to be opened on this side. No matter how much Diamond wanted to seem pleasant, Juno was, without a doubt, a prisoner, and it didn’t seem like he had any means to escape.

With a sigh, he sat back on the chair, contemplating his options. Despite the circumstances, he didn’t want to think that Diamond wanted him dead. First of all, from a logical standpoint, if they did, he would already be. Second of all, in spite of everything, Juno couldn’t help but trust them still… and last but not least… well, he didn’t really have a choice in the matter, did he?

Considering the small cutter still in his hand, Juno tried to imagine planting it into Diamond’s stomach, seeing the light fade out of their eyes, feeling as their last breath left them in a shudder... The thought alone made him feel like he was about to throw up.  
Besides, he’d never seen Diamond actually fight, but it was extremely likely that they would have no problem overpowering him.

The only solution that seemed to be left, was to get them to change their mind. Hopefully Juno could convince them to see reason, to release him…

 _None of it will be your fault_.

God, Diamond really intended to kill all those people, didn’t they? Sure, most of them were rotten to the core and if they all happened to fall from a tall building the city would be one hell of a lot better off, but they couldn’t think of just… murdering them, could they? Surely they had to realize just how mad that was?

Did they, really?

 _Why_ , thought Juno, closing his eyes tight, to try and smother his building panic, _Why couldn’t the past stay in the past_?

* * *

Juno sighed as he entered the small HCPD waiting area. The door he pushed was dirty with yellowed radiation dust and muddy sand, and it looked about as bad as his day had been. He felt as though he should have stopped being surprised by his own fuck-ups a long time ago, but there was no changing it now. It sometimes felt as if his temper was impossible to rein in, and it wasn’t like he had come into work expecting to have to restrain himself from punching a fucking wannabe stalker in the face.

Not that it would change anything, Juno thought somberly, considering the fact that _he_ had been the one to receive a strong-worded talk to and to get fired. But at least this specific customer wouldn’t be soon to come back to harass the waiters, and Elis had seemed relieved when he’d punched the bastard.

 _That_ had been nice, but now here Juno was, without a job for the fourth time this year. It wasn’t even May yet.

He sighed as he sank down on the rickety plastic chair. Benten would be off shift in half an hour, and he would be happy to see Juno, probably. He thought about not mentioning it to Benten, not remind him again that his brother was a failure. But then Benten would learn it anyway - most likely when Juno failed to get a job in the next three weeks - and he would give him that look, all sad and worried. Juno sighed again.

“Um, excuse me?”

Juno opened his eyes, looking towards the softly spoken words. There stood a nicely dressed person, slightly too neat for the neighborhood, with long, red hair arranged in a loose bun.

“Oh. Uh.” Juno sat up straighter, trying not to look too much like the washed-up piece of garbage he was. “Can I umm, help you?”

“Oh. No.” The stranger pointed at Juno’s forehead. “Actually, you’re bleeding.”

“Oh.” Juno remembered the punch he had taken before assholish and stupid could be dragged out of the restaurant, and brought his hand up to his temple. It came away bloody. “Oh, shit. Um… I mean… sorry.”

The stranger snorted, the sound contrasting with their rather delicate appearance.

“It’s fine. But maybe you’d like something to clean it up before it gets infected?” In an instant, they were armed with a wad of cotton and what looked like a small flask of alcohol. They let out a short laugh at Juno’s look of consternation. “Okay?”

“I… sure…” Juno nodded slowly, letting the stranger take hold of his face and stabilize it as they began to carefully wipe at his wound. Their hold was gentle, but Juno could feel their long-manicured nails pressing ever so slightly into his skin, like five little needles ready to pierce it, and he had to suppress a shiver.

From up close, Juno had to rethink his first impression of them. At first glance, they looked somewhat soft and delicate, rich enough that they wouldn’t need to work with their hands or stand for too long in the sun. But although their skin was pale and unblemished, their long fingers were strong and their skin was slightly rough where they touched him. From their sure and unwavering grip, he could tell the stranger had more muscle than was obvious at first glance. Maybe a paramedic, or a doctor? Something who needed their strength to be precise and their hand to be strong, practiced.

Juno’s thoughts were interrupted by a sudden burning on his temple. He hissed.

“Ssh” admonished his improvised nurse, tightening their grip so that he wouldn’t move away as they finished disinfecting the wound. “I would think someone who gets into fistfights isn’t scared of a bit of disinfectant.”

Juno shot them a petulant glare and they laughed, finally releasing his face. They came back to put a protective bandage on the wound.

“There, all done.”

“Thank you.” Juno replied gruffly.

The stranger waved the words off, and sat down next to him.

“So, what’s a strapping young man like you does in a police station?”

Juno looked at them, still a bit baffled by their easy chatter.

“Um… lady. And I’m waiting for my brother.”

Their eyes went wide with distinguished surprise.

“Really? That’s what they call a coincidence! I’m waiting for my sister. Your brother is on the force, then?”

Juno was about to answer when they interrupted him.

“But I’m being awfully rude! Asking questions like that before even introducing myself! I’m Diamond Diaz, pleasure to meet you.” They extended a hand.

Juno took it slowly, still a bit wary.

“Juno.”

Diamond smiled, and even through Juno’s paranoid stare, it seemed genuine.

  
_Diamond and Juno outside the HCPD station_  
(art by **Karin** ; link to the tumblr post in the chapter notes)

* * *

 

Juno woke up to someone knocking, politely but loud enough to be heard, on the metal door. For an instant, it didn’t feel any different than any other morning where he forgot to get out of his clothes before going to sleep. Any minute now Ben or Rita would get annoyed and use their key to get in and…

“Juno? Can I come in?”

Diamond’s voice abruptly brought him back to the present, and he sat up suddenly. Before he could think of what response to make, the door to his makeshift cell opened.

“Hello, Juno. Have you slept well? I know the conditions aren’t the best, but I did try to make this room as comfortable as possible.

“Should you really announce yourself before coming in? Doesn’t that give me the time to ambush you?”

Diamond smiled.

“It does. But I trust you wouldn’t do it.”

Juno squinted at them.

“Why?”

They sighed.

“Juno, I know it’s been quite some time, but I still _know_ you. I know you don’t hurt people unless you really have to.”

Juno snorted at that.

“That’s giving me a lot of credit.”

“That’s giving you just as much credit as you deserve,” said Diamond softly, looking for a instant like they had across a little restaurant table, and Juno had to look away. “Can I come in? I brought you breakfast.”

Juno shrugged, keeping his eyes pointedly away from Diamond, as they put a heavy-looking basket on the table. They began unloading its contents, revealing bread, jam, butter, milk, tea leaves, a plate, and cutlery.

“Where did you get all that?” Juno couldn’t help but ask, bewildered.

Diamond chuckled.

“I’ve got my ways. You know, even the most remote places on Mars-” They cut themselves off, conscious of the intent stare Juno was suddenly placing on them.

Neither of them broke the silence for a few moments. Juno watched as Diamond arranged the content of their basket on the table, then when there was nothing left for them to keep on fiddling with, they made towards the door.

“Diamond,” Juno said, stopping them in their tracks. “What are you doing?” He tried to keep his voice soft, inviting. Pleading maybe.

“Juno… I can’t tell you that.”

“Why not? I won’t be there for it anyway, will I? Not with you _kidnapping_ me…”

“ _I_ am trying to protect you!”

“Goddamn it… and from what?! Are you going to kill everyone out there?! Diamond, what the hell are you going to do?”

Juno was seriously starting to get annoyed at this whole skirting around the fact that they had felt it was perfectly normal to kidnap him, to keep him out of his city, like a scolded kid, while they planned to “deal with” it. He’d had enough of it, and didn’t bother to keep the dangerous edge off his voice. Diamond was very still and silent, right in front of him now that Juno had sprung up to be at their level.  
Belatedly, he realized that Diamond was still taller than him, that while they looked a bit older and a bit less put together, they wore the same colors, they had the same bright, calm eyes…

“I” they said, “am trying to help Hyperion city.” Their voice was eerily calm, almost emotionless, and Juno was thrown back to the first time he’d realized he knew nothing of Diamond Diaz. “And I will do everything I have to to do so. If that means killing Ramses O’Flaherty, and Pilot Pereira, and the whole lot of them, I’ll do it.”

Juno felt nauseous.

“You can’t do that. It’s not…”

“Why not? How many people have died because of what they did? You tried to stop them, _Benten_ tried to stop them –”

“Don’t you dare…” Juno began to say, but Diamond just drowned out his voice.

“– And they _kicked him_ out of the Police and _you_ got _beaten up! Several times! How can you pretend this is right?!_ ”

Juno had never seen Diamond so furious, and the sight made him speechless for a few slow seconds.

“How do you even _know_ that? You weren’t _there_!” Diamond threw him a look and Juno chuckled humorlessly. “Right. Never mind.”

He scrambled to try and get his bearings back.

“This isn’t about me,” he finally managed, feeble and unconvincing.

“No, it isn’t.” The ice in Diamond’s eyes melted a little. “But it is about your city. I’m trying to help you, Juno.”

“To help me? By kidnapping me and putting me in a box?” Juno laughed, but it was bitter and frayed. “You thought I wouldn’t agree with your method, did you? To be fair, you were right: I don’t. I just thought you said…” They didn’t interrupt him, although he wished they had, because he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t bring himself to… drag it all up and revive it. Again. He’d stopped counting how many times he’d dreamt of their eyes in his, of his hand in theirs, of softly spoken words calmly destroying his life, and he wouldn’t fall into it again. Not if he could avoid it.

Diamond finally took pity on him.

“I’m sorry, Juno…” They looked it, regretful and sad. “I never meant for any of it to happen this way. I couldn’t stand the idea of you getting hurt…”

Juno snorted.

“Right.”

“I made a mistake, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t think the world of you.”

“Why? It’s not like I’m even a good PI, after all. I couldn’t even figure _you_ out.”

“If my information is correct, you’re a great PI, Juno.” They smiled, small and charming and Juno was thrown back seventeen years in the past. “With a definite knack for getting yourself into the worst trouble.” Their eyes lingered on Juno’s missing one for an instant. “And of course I care. I _always_ care. I still lo–”

Ice shot through Juno’s veins.

“No.”

Diamond’s eyes widened, before softening again. Juno wanted to throw something at their face. To rip it all off, that unfairly soft face, that gentle smile, those beautiful brown eyes. Surely it was a lie, surely if Juno managed to tear it off he would find a face of secrets and ugliness, something that would make more sense that those soft looks belonging to a long-lost lie.

“Juno, I…”

“Shut up!”

“It’s not because you don’t want to hear…”

“ _Shut up!_ Stop _lying_ to me!”

“Juno. I’m not…”

“I said: shut _up_ ! I don’t _care_ what you have to say. I _don’t…_ Just, for once in your life… Just, get out.”

“Juno…”

“Get _out! Leave me alone!_ ”

He resolutely turned his face away, not wanting to see Diamond’s worried eyes – of course they’d look _worried_ \- as they went through the door.

It closed with a soft click and Juno threw himself on the bed, pressing his face in the small pillow he’d been given in the hopes his eyes would stay as dry as the desert outside.

He didn’t care. He really didn’t. He just needed to get out.

Alert the city.

Call Benten.

Anything.

He didn’t care. It didn’t matter.

* * *

Juno looked grumpily out of the café’s windows. It’d been almost an hour, and the rain was still pouring outside. He wasn’t eager to soak himself in it, but his coffee was most certainly cold by now, and the waitress was definitely giving him the stink eye. Besides, it wasn’t like his date was going to show up anyway.

He was considering calling Ben to convince him to go out drinking with him, when someone noisily opened the café’s door.

“Oh, thank god you’re still here!”

His head wiped towards the sound. Diamond was there, quickly closing their large umbrella, which immediately began dripping on the threshold of the room. They looked frayed and harried, their beautiful red hair half falling out of a hastily made bun. They wore a heavy looking leather skirt and boots coming up almost to their knees to protect themselves from the acidic rain. The whole get up reminded Juno of the impeccable heroines in those long-winded classic romantic movies Benten liked to watch with Rita sometimes.

They looked perfect, and so out of Juno’s league it seemed strange they’d even shown up at all.

“...so sorry” they were still saying, standing in front of Juno’s table “I got held up at work, and I didn’t have anything to call you with…”

“It’s fine.” Said Juno, still a bit dazed. He nodded when Diamond asked, fretfully, if they could sit down, and watched as they passed a hand through their hair, quietly admiring the way the light played on the strands of fiery red.

“I’ll take a coffee, please.” Diamond said to the waitress, who was watching them with something like appreciation in her eyes. Juno fully empathized with her. “Do you want anything Juno? It’s the least I can do.”

“Oh uh, a coffee’s fine. Thank you.”

“Oh, no, I really should be thanking you!” Diamond gave him a small, grateful, smile. “I definitely wasn’t sure you’d still be there after all this time… I’m really a horrible date…”

Juno blushed a bit, like an idiot, because he’d apparently never outgrown the middle school stage of being shy at any words related to romance. Benten could _never_ know anything about this.

“It’s okay. You said you had work… what do you do?” He had to keep himself from grimacing. Why in the hell was small talk so excruciating?

“I’m a doctor. Well,” - Diamond cocked their head to the side, and a few strands of red fell away from their bun, catching Juno’s eyes once again “for the most part.”

“Oh… that’s great.” And... strangely shabby. “What… do you mean by ‘for the most part’?”

“Oh, well, you know…” they waved their hands in the air, as if to wave away the explanation. “I’m here thanks to a relative of mine, so I help around a bit when I can… I’m sure you know how it is.”

Juno didn’t, but admittedly he was a bit distracted with their whole… face.

“Oh right, you said you had a sister on the force?”

Diamond looked surprised for an instant.

“Oh, I did, didn’t I? She’s more of a cousin really.” They smiled in a manner that would have been shy if it hadn’t been so confident. “But I had a handsome lady to impress, so I may have exaggerated a bit.”

Juno’s face burned, and he couldn’t suppress a small smile.

“You were there to see your brother, weren’t you? Are you two close?”

“We’re pretty close. I mean, we’re twins. He’s… He’s great.” As he said it, he could feel pride for his brother bubbling in his chest.

It must have shown on his face because Diamond smiled gently at him. It made the sharp, handsome edges of their face smooth into something softer, fond and benevolent, and Juno found that it stole his breath away.

“Do you have any other relatives on Mars?”

The breath was knocked out of Juno for an entirely different reason, and what felt like a solid ice block fell in his stomach, hard and freezing, suddenly bringing him back to reality.

“No. Not really.” He gulped, trying desperately to think of something, anything, to steer the conversation away. “What about you? You said you’d come here… Did you not grow up on Mars?”

They hadn’t, but rather had been born on Neptune. It seemed their parents, however, were from Mars, and that they’ve been on the planet since the beginning of their studies. They didn’t push on Juno’s story, only responding to his questions, and for that, he was immensely grateful. But as the conversation went on, the icy feeling didn’t entirely thaw, instead spreading through his limbs slowly and painfully. Diamond, despite the rain and the frankly terrible lights of he café, looked brilliant and sunny, like an extract of Mars’ spring stored in a colored glass bottle. Every time they opened their mouth, they seemed brighter, nicer, and further and further away from Juno. Every little details they revealed about themselves only seemed to confirm the fact that he would never be able to come at their level. He could only look at them from afar, at the very end of this spectrum, unable to even ever come close.

This had been stupid idea, he realized. Diamond wore their name well: as soon as they’d come in the room, they’d lit some kind of fire no one could look away from. And here was Juno, with his stupid hair and his stupid clothes and his even more stupid scars, and his absolute inability to do anything right.  
Somehow, he’d thought he could have this. That he could have a beautiful, nice stranger interested in him without it all going to shit as soon as they’d discover how much of mess he was. That had been stupid, he thought as the cold metal of the chair dug into his tights and his back. That had been stupid, because Juno Steel would never be good enough for the likes of beautiful, dazzling, put together Diamond Diaz.

Still, he couldn’t help but drink in their soft words, their amused laugh, and their beautiful smile; their eyes looking straight into him without seeming to be revolted by what they found there.

Maybe that was why, when they gently took his hand in theirs, and asked him if they could see each other again, Juno – despite knowing full this was doomed to fail, despite his record for repeated critical failure, despite everything – couldn’t bring himself to say no.

* * *

Juno forced himself to stay calm when Diamond entered his cell the next day. He looked at them unloading the content of their small casket in front of him, in tense silence. It took all of his restrain and bravery to finally talk as they were about to leave the cramped room.

“Diamond. Wait.”

They paused, and turned back to face Juno. They looked… tired, and wary, as if they were afraid Juno might snap and attack them suddenly. Verbally or otherwise.

To be fair, that specific fear wasn’t entirely unfounded.

“I think we should talk. _Really_ talk.”

They crossed their arms, and it struck Juno how unfamiliar a move that was for them. Maybe he wasn’t the one who had chosen to dredge up the past, but he sure as hell wasn’t the only one affected by it.

“Juno.” After all these years, his name still sounded the same coming from their lips. “I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

Juno had to bit back the snark that tried to fly past his lips. He needed Diamond to listen to him. Starting a fight with them wouldn’t help matters.

“ _Please._ ”

Something shifted in Diamond’s eyes, and, not for the first time, Juno wondered if they’d been thinking of him as much as he’d been thinking of them, all these years.

“Listen. You got me in here, alright? I’m not going anywhere. So can you at least tell me what you’re doing and hear me out?”

That brought a smile on their face, rueful as it was, and they came back near the table.

“Are you going to try and change my mind, Juno?”

“Maybe.” He couldn’t help how soft his voice sounded. It seemed as though trying to talk any louder would tear out his vocal chords, as if the feeling slowly expanding in his chest could suddenly explode and destroy him from the inside. It’d been so long ago; how could this still hurt? “Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Diamond’s eyes pierced straight through him.

“Yes, it was.”

Juno had to look away.

Diamond sat down, and Juno didn’t miss the glance they threw at his left hand, bare and more scared that it had been when they’d last seen each other. He couldn’t help but ball it into a fist. Diamond had no claim to him, not anymore: neither their careful glances nor the hot white pain in Juno’s chest would change that.

“What do you want to know?” they finally said, their hands entangled together in front of them. Juno spared a glance at their long fingers. Their skin wasn’t as smooth and pale as Juno had known it, and he could see a nasty scar on the back of Diamond’s left hand, as if someone had tried to pin it with a knife. The thought sent a shudder down Juno’s spine.

“What exactly do you plan to do with Hyperion City?”

“You know what I plan to do.” The tone was cold, unflinching, and devoid of the warmth Juno remembered. Juno had grown up, had changed in the years after Diamond had left him, but they had, too, and in that instant, it wasn’t so hard to think of them as a different person. “I plan to solve Hyperion City’s problem.”

“By killing some people? That’s your solution? Just… “ _Kill some people and be done with it!_ ”… is that it?”

“Juno. You know the justice system doesn’t work. Pilot Pereyra can publicly admit to being one of the worst criminal of the planet and still stay the standing mayor for over ten years!”

“It may be broken, but killing people won’t change anything!”

“You don’t _know_ that. It can change some things.”

“It will only change you, so that you’re just as bad as them!”

“Maybe. But someone has to do it.”

Diamond’s face was calm, expressionless, like the undisturbed surface of a lake. Like Juno could watch, and watch, and yet his vision would never reach the bottom of it.

“And that’s you?”

“So far nobody else has stepped in, so it seems that it is, in fact, me.”

Juno had to take a deep, shaky breath at that. Diamond’s eyes, in this instant, reminded him of a man lost in a memory, and before that, lost to a passion, a vision of justice that had never come to fruition. Would it have been worth it? Did Nureyev’s nightmares sometimes featured all the people he couldn’t save, rather than all of those he couldn’t kill? Did he sometimes regret keeping Mag from saving Brahma?

He couldn’t think about this right now. He had to stay level, to face the situation. Nureyev was away, and Juno had no reason to believe anyone would be able to play his knight in shining armor for a while. He had to beat Diamond at their own game, to hold their attention long enough to convince them to settle down, change their game… just… something. Maybe if he got lucky enough, he could even snatch their comm or something, and send a message to Rita. She could… track the signal or something while her favorite show was on pause.

“Are you… sure this is really necessary?” He said, awkwardly, as if they were discussing how much pizza to order and not possible genocide. “Can you tell me _who_ you’re intending to… put aside? I don’t imagine getting rid of Pereyra is the sole goal of this whole operation.”

God this was _terrible_. Benten had once made fun of him and said he’d become so good at solving mysteries only so he could avoid talking to people, and right now, it didn’t seem like he was entirely wrong.

“Juno… the whole point of you being here, as much as you don’t like it, is so that you don’t have to get involved. Telling you all about my operation would defeat the point, wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah, well, I’m not 12, or even, what, 21? anymore, so I’d think I’m old enough to handle it. And if want me to cooperate, you’d better tell me. You said you don’t want to hurt me, but… you will if you have to right?”

Diamond frowned.

“What do you mean?”

Juno swallowed, making his expression as hard and steely as he could.

“I _mean_ , if you don’t at least tell me what’s happening, I won’t stay put, and you might have to hurt me.”

He kept his eyes level with Diamond, forcing himself not to look away this time.

“I see.” Finally said Diamond, and the smile was back on their lip, twitching a bit as if they were trying to refrain themselves – Juno was grateful for the sentiment, despite how poorly it was executed – “You drive a hard bargain.”

They straightened up, and tucked a stray strand of hair behind their ear. Juno’s eye followed the movement and when he finally managed to draw it back toward them, Diamond’s was looking right at him.

“Let’s begin then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> Hey
> 
>  
> 
> I made a playlist for Diamond, if you want to check it out :)  
> https://open.spotify.com/user/gamzeegautier/playlist/65BbNhHlG4ockWYQZKWmv8?si=cG6-S7nvSZ-eSDdPvQMVsg


	2. I'm sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo... the rating went up, uh... wonder why that is ;)  
> thanks for those of you who commented, and to Jacky and Chyww for cheerleading me in direct ;)
> 
> Is this a good or a bad sign if I kind of almost cried editing this?

Juno bit into Diamond’s lip gently, satisfied at the moan it elicited from them. Their grip on his hips tightened, encouraging him to ground down a bit.

“Ah… shit!” Diamond said breathlessly. Juno redirected his mouth to their neck and another moan rippled through them. “You, my lady, are a tease.”

Juno hummed contentedly, taking one of their hand to bring it to the buttons of his shirt.

“You’re the one who wanted to wait.”

“And I don’t regret it.” Diamond said, as they got their hand on Juno’s skin, making him shiver. “It doesn’t make me blind. Or patient.”

Juno returned to kissing them, to try and keep them from sprouting any more embarrassing nonsense, and set his fingers to undress them. He felt the tissue of their shirt give way, and left their lips an instant to admire them.

Juno’s body was littered with scars. Most of the kids who had grown up in Old Town had those. Some of them were from accidents, some of them weren’t: they all adorned his skin like memories he couldn’t shake. But he’d gone used to it. Somewhat.

Scars on Diamond’s body seemed out of place. They stood sharply against their skin, like an unwanted guest. The puffy, elevated skin didn’t match with their whole image, with their entire get-up. They were so well put together, Juno couldn’t imagine them in any situation that would mess up their appearance, that would put blood on their skin, make them stagger in pain and shock-

“Juno.” Said Diamond, and his eyes jumped to theirs. They took his hand in theirs, placing it away form the scar it was mindlessly caressing.

“Sorry! I-”

“I did leave Neptune for a reason.”

“Oh. I-”

A finger on his lips interrupted him.

“It’s okay. It’s been a long time, but I don’t particularly want to talk about it, if that's okay with you.”

If there was something Juno understood, it was this. He nodded and let himself be led to Diamond’s lips once again. Their hands were hot against his skin, traveling slowly and sensually down his back until they reached the hem of his pants. Juno shivered when they hooked their fingers under the fabric, brushing his ass. He pushed into their mouth, trying to convey that he was okay - _more_ than okay - with being undressed; being caressed all over by those clever, beautiful hands.  
His own hands were wandering low on the chest of him, tracing abstract shapes. He wasn’t quite sure what to do: Diamond didn’t seem to want their scars touched, and he was afraid he’d graze one of them and make them uncomfortable if he tried to reciprocate blindly.

Between trying not to upset Diamond, trying to please them, and the light-headedness that came with the sensation of them caressing him, lower and lower, Juno was getting a bit distracted from the kiss itself. So when Diamond, gently but firmly, bit onto his lower lip, Juno couldn’t possibly have controlled the loud moan that tore itself out of his throat.

Diamond laughed beneath him, delighted and still incurably charming.

“My beautiful, beautiful Juno.” They murmured right against his mouth, and he shivered again at their low, sensual voice.

Diamond turned them over, and their hands attached themselves to remove Juno’s pants. They slide the fabric over his legs, following the movement with their hands and mouth, their clever fingers drawing patterns of pleasure on his thighs, their tongue mapping his torso as they went lower, lower.

“Diamond” Juno breathed, hypnotised by the sight of them slowly crawling down his body.

“I’ve got you, Juno.” They said, their face almost level with his navel.

He gasped when they put their mouth on his cock, and again and again throughout the night.

 

It was only a few hours later, after they’d both been sated and had began dozing off, that Juno had cause to take notice of their scars again. From where his head was pillowed against Diamond’s chest, he could just make out a closed wound, high on their arm. The skin around it was healed, but it still looked puffy and fragile, like only Juno’s most recent – around six months old - wounds did.

Hadn’t Diamond said they’d left Neptune over two years ago? Sometimes the past just didn’t leave you alone, did it?

“Are you okay?” They sounded half asleep, their voice a low rumble that resonated in the bewteen the both of them.

“Mmm”

That made Diamond chuckle, their chest trembling under his head. It was a soft, happy sound, and Juno smiled into their skin.

* * *

Juno had to take a few second to recollect himself once Diamond finished speaking. They waited for him, patiently.

He finally took a breath.

“You can’t do this.”

“Well. At least now we’re settled. I’ll just…”

“Diamond, wait. That’s not what I meant.”

They leveled an eyebrow at him, already half-way up.

“Let’s say I… agree on the principle of the thing. I still don’t think it will work.”

Diamond sighed, exasperated.

“No, wait hear me out!”

Juno’s movement to reach for them was a complete knee-jerk reaction. Diamond’s eyes snapped to his when he touched them. Juno snatched his hand back immediately, swallowing under the heavy stare. But it had gotten him their attention and he wasn’t about to let this opportunity go.

“Okay. It doesn’t matter if you flush out the bad guys, I don’t think. The rate of criminality is way too high in Hyperion city: just killing them won’t change that. I mean, it’s not just the head honchos that are bad, half the city is filled with drug dealers or mafiosi or whatever. No matter what you do… It’s never gonna be enough.”

“This is why I’m putting the city in that man’s hands. Kahn. You trust him, don’t you? He can probably do good for Hyperion City.”

“How do you even…? Never mind. Diamond, come on, Kahn has _at_ _least_ seven kids, he’s not going to want to take over the city. He’s trying his best, all right and I’d probably trust him with my life, but he can barely handle PR talk and I don’t blame him. He won’t last a _month_ as the mayor of Hyperion City. And that’s assuming no one tries to kill him first.”

“You said it yourself, I can’t except the city to pull itself back together even once the main offenders are dealt with. Therefor, I need someone to take over and take care of it. I don’t have a better person for the role than Kahn.”

“Don’t you? Really?”

Diamond just shrugged.

“Damn. That city is really rotten from the inside, isn’t it?” Juno muttered. It wasn’t the targets that bothered him. It wasn’t to agree that most of the people holding a place of power in Hyperion City were akin to some kind of infection, and getting rid of them probably wouldn't hurt. The _method_ bothered him. Diamond hadn’t clarified much on the details, but it was clear they didn’t intend to pay them a courtesy call, and Juno knew it wouldn’t be the first time they’d killed to accomplish wat they thought was the greater good. “What about O’Flaherty? I don’t _like_ him but he seems okay. Why is he in your... why is he in the list?”

Diamond threw him an indecipherable look.

“He’s just as bad as the rest.” they said with all the composure in the world.

Juno felt his eyebrows go up almost by themselves.

“Really? He seems alright to me. Care to be more specific?”

Their eyes were cold, colder than Juno had ever seen them, a calm, a white hot rage. They looked away from him.

“No.”

Had Ramses O’Flaherty done something to them at some point? Did he somehow have anything to do about why they’d come back to Mars?

“You can’t just throw out accusations and expect me to believe you. If there’s one thing I remember, it’s that you’re a very good liar when you want to be.”

“I didn’t-” Diamond cut themselves, taking a breath before carefully bringing the mask on their face again. And just like that, they looked calm again, composed, gracious. They looked beautiful, and the world was an unfair, cruel place.

“Juno. I have my reasons, but I _can’t_ give them to you.”

Had they done that before? Had they gone around with a mask of calm, of gentleness, of _love_ , that Juno had just failed to notice while they were together? The question that had run around his mind for fifteen years. Had it been a lie, or had they, at some point, really loved him?  
And what did he want the answer to be?

“Alright. _F_ _ine_. But that does mean, there’s no one you can trust to take over Hyperion City. You're back at your starting point: you can’t salvage the city if you kill off what passes for its administration.”

“I can’t salvage Hyperion City doing nothing either.”

“Well there you go. Maybe you _can’t_ salvage Hyperion City _at all_ and _killing_ people won’t change that.”

Diamond’s eyes narrowed, obviously a bit annoyed by Juno’s repartee. For an instant, he  felt a tingle of satisfaction at the idea that he could challenge them and their stupid ideas.  
Then he remembered he was a prisoner and he didn’t enjoy anything about this situation, at all.

“Okay,” Diamond finally said, “What do _you_ suggest then? How would you do it?”

Juno sighed, exasperated. This wasn’t going anywhere.

“I don’t know. You’re the evil mastermind, not me.”

“Humor me.”

“Fine.” Juno looked at his hands. What _would_ he do? 

He pushed aside all the questions that plagued his mind, questions that had nothing to do with Hyperion City and everything to do with the tear-soaked fabric of his closeted wedding dress.

“You have to find a way to get Pilot out of office. Not _kill_ them, necessarily, but stop them in a way you’re sure will make them look bad, so they can’t be turned into some kind of martyr. And you have to make an example of the gang leaders: the Kanagawas and the other. Make sure everyone knows what the toll is if they toe out of the line. Their caps, too, before they can try and use the power vacuum. And then… you hold a secret vote for the next mayor, and you make background checks on them.”

This was sounding... a lot like Diamond’s plan, outside from the murders, and Juno felt a heavy, familiar weight settle in his chest.

“What do you think should be done about the justice system?” Their voice was quiet, only pushing Juno along.

“You can’t just imprison or kill every dirty cop: that’s... most of them.” That, Juno knew first hand.” With the mafia out the door, there should be less corruption, but you need to tighten the grip on them, make sure they don’t beat up inn-… people, and don’t take bribes. Kahn would be good to take care of that. You’d have to stop the elitist prison system too, and make sure you can reinsert people that come back into society.”

Diamond was looking at him, responding to Juno’s desperate glance with a sad smile.

“Can you… Can we do that?”

“I don’t know, darling. But we can try.”

 _Don’t call me that_ , tried to say Juno, but the words stuck in his throat. Diamond was too close right then, and it felt like the floor had been replaced by a black void, a gaping hole he was about to fall into.

“I wasn’t entirely truthful when I told you this wasn’t about you, Juno.” Their right hand came to rest tenderly against his cheek, and Juno was lost in their softly shining ruby eyes. “Hyperion City hurt you so much. I couldn’t stand to stay back and do nothing anymore.”

They looked as beautiful as they had in Juno’s every dream, in every memory that reminded him he couldn’t have them - couldn’t have this - anymore.

“I hate the idea that anyone made you believe that you deserve anything less than the whole world.” Diamond whispered, and Juno could almost feel their breath on his lips.

“Diamond.” How Juno had _missed_ them, missed _every_ second of them, wondering how it could happen that he’d lost one of the best thing to ever happen to him, wondering if, maybe, he’d done something to deserve it.

But that had been long ago. Juno’s life had changed, and Diamond had left it long ago. They were no longer the best thing in it.

“Diamond,” Juno pushed them - gentler than he ought to - away from him. “We’re not doing this. You kidnapped me, remember?”

“Oh.” Diamond righted themself up in a jerky movement, blinking away the flush on their cheeks. “Right. I... sorry. I should go.”

Their hand left Juno’s cheek and he missed the warmth. But it felt like a distant pain, and in a slow blink, he could wash away the regret from the gesture. Juno wasn’t alone anymore. He wasn’t desperate for affection anymore. Diamond was in his past, and as much as it hurt to see them, it was only the last tremor of a healing burn on his heart.

“Juno, I… I’ll think about what you said. I promise.”

They closed the door before Juno could respond, and he was left thinking of what had been and what could have been. If Diamond hadn’t left him, if Diamond hadn’t been a liar, a manipulator, a criminal, would Juno have stayed with them? Would he have walked into their arms, knowing of their crimes, of their lies, if anything had gone differently? Would he ever have met Peter Nureyev?

Weighting the fragments of his past against one another felt like juggling flaming knives with no preparation of safety net. But sitting on a shitty bed inside a metal prison cell, Juno found he couldn’t find it in himself to really regret what had come to pass. He’d loved, he’d lost, he’d grown, and loved again, and thinking about it, he would have given up a lot more than a long forgotten lover and an eye to find Peter Nureyev again.

Juno fell asleep thinking of sharp teeth and shining suns he’d been promised in the confines of the arms of the love of his life.

Where was Peter Nureyev now?

* * *

 

“Hey.”

Juno mumbled a protest into Diamond’s chest. It made them laugh openly, and Juno reveled in the rumbling of it under him.

Their fingers tangled in his hair, combing through unruly strands and massaging his scape slowly.

“Did you sleep well?”

Juno lifted his head.

“Are you kidding? Your bed is like some kind of dream it’s so comfy.”

Diamond chuckled.

“Well I’m happy to see that you appreciate it, but that’s not quite what I meant.”

They pulled Juno toward them, gently, and he went easily, melting into the kiss. Juno felt incredible, drowning in comforting warmth. It felt good. Too good to be quite true, in fact.

“I slept really well.”

Diamond smiled, tracing Juno’s brow with a gentle finger.

“I did, too.”

Juno tried a mirroring smile, before Diamond drew him in for another kiss. There was no hurry in it, just the two of them caught up in each other. He could feel Diamond’s lips on his, their fingers tangling themselves in his hair, tracing the lines of his back, the knobs of his spine. Juno could almost feel the world around them falling away, feel his worries and his thoughts scatter as he slowly melted into their arms.

“Juno.” Diamond breathed against his lips, planting a hundred soft kisses on his mouth, his chin, his cheeks. “Juno… I love you.”

Juno’s heart missed a bit. Diamond kept on kissing him, soft and sweet.

“I… need to go. To work.” Juno felt stupid and hollow. Here he was, in the bed of someone, incredible, kind, and ready to forgive his misgivings and to have him, and he just, couldn’t help but throw it all away.

Diamond didn’t seem angry, or disappointed, they were still smiling at him, drawing a comforting pattern on Juno’s uncovered thigh.

“Okay.”

Juno waited for more, for a snide remark, a jibe, a mark of exasperation. For Diamond to get up and sigh, to ask him to go then, and to not come back.

“Juno? Do you want to use the shower?”

Juno blinked. Diamond still looked at him. They seemed somewhat worried.

“I- Yeah. Sure. I’ll… do that.”

Juno fled into the shower, trying to do a short job of it, wondering all the while when Diamond would change their mind, decide Juno wasn’t worth their while if he couldn’t even respond to a declaration.  
God, had that really happened? Juno was terrified, terrified of Diamond’s eventual rejection when they saw what a mess Juno was. Terrified of the ball of warmth expanding in his chest, a ball that would be a void once Diamond was gone.

He got out of the shower before his hacking breaths could shorten even more and escalate into a full-blown episode.  
He forced himself to breathe. In and out, trying to measure his bretahing he would when Benten helped him count each and every one of his inspirations, expirations. In and out, until it didn’t feel like the world was missing its essential components, until it felt like maybe he had just enough air to weather what would come next. Just go through the motion, one at a time, you'll be fine. It'll be fine. You knew this would happen. Juno had to fight against the thought, clogging up his throat  _you knew this would happen_. He'll be okay, he  _would_ , and then he could go to Ben's and hole up there while the worst of it passed. He just had to breathe, in, and out.

Only when he managed to inspire for a full five, initerrupted second did he look at the clothes waiting for him. They weren't his.

He peeked his head out of the bathroom, trying to scoot the room, the thought still hammering away at his brain. Find your clothes, get out, deal later.

“I left you a shirt in the bathroom.” Diamond called form the kitchen. “I figured you’d want something clean to go to work.”

Juno didn’t know what to respond to that, but he couldn’t find his own shirt, so he ended up putting on Diamond’s. It was a bit large, but not ill-fitted, looking like it was made to be wide and to bunch up in certain place. It felt much nicer than anything Juno had ever owned, and he tried not to let that realisation fuel the wieght in his chest.

“Hey.”

Juno stopped in his tracks. Diamond was standing in front of the stove, hair half-done, dressed in a ratty night gown which slouched away from their shoulders and did almost nothing to hide their legs: miles and miles of impossibly soft skin. They looked incredible - way out of Juno’s league.  
And yet, they had a small smile on their face. That soft little smile they kep making for Juno.

“It looks good on you.”

“I- yeah?”

“Yeah.” They came to him, taking his hand in a soft, gentle grip. “Are you okay?” There was a slight tremor in their voice, and they grimaced a bit even as they said it, as if their usual confidence had ran away from them. Their eyes didn't even quite meet Juno's.

“I’m sorry if I…” They passed a hand in their hair, and Juno watched, bewildered, their fingers trembling nervously, pulling too hard at a small knot, and for an instant, he was tempted to be the one to stop them, to take their hand and bring it close to him, where it couldn't tremble and hurt them. “I… Damn it. Juno, I really didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry.”

_What?_

“Hey. _No_. Wait, what?”

Diamond looked up again.

“Well. I know we’ve been taking it slow… I shouldn’t have sprung this up on you and I’m really sorry.”

Juno frowned, momentarily surprised.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Juno…”

“I freaked out. You… you’re great, and I can’t… I don’t…” Juno’s voice petered out, his breath cutting off again.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s fine. You’re fine.”

 _You're fine, You'll be fine_. Juno tried to keep those words in his mind as he battled with his breath again. Once he'd calmed down, he was halfway into Diamond’s arms, breathing slowly, calming down as he gripped their cold hand.

“Okay. I think we both need to relax.” There was humor in Diamond’s voice, as his hand climbed up Juno’s nape. “ _I_ probably need to slow down.”

“It’s not your fault.” Even through the bone-deep exhaustion, he could feel indignation bubbling at his lips. They'd done nothing wrong.

“Well, it’s at least a bit my fault, isn’t it?”

“No! I’m the one who fucked it up! I couldn’t even…”

“Juno!” They had a look of quiet determination on their face, and Juno was suddenly thrown back to the first time he had seen them, to a stranger taking a firm hold of his face to cure open wounds.

“You didn’t fuck up anything. We’re fine. I’m fine.” They stroked his cheek with their thumb, quiet and soothing. “You need time, and I can respect that. Okay?”

“Okay.” Juno mumbled, feeling his heart slowly settle to a normal rhythm in front of Diamond’s tranquil steadiness. He heard them let out a shuddering breath as they rested their head against his shoulder.

They’d been worried, he realized. They didn’t want him to leave.  
They wanted him to stay, because…  
Because...

“Juno? Can I kiss you?”

His breath caught in his throat, and he could only nod numbly and lean into Diamond’s hold. They were gripping him tightly, as if afraid that he would get away from them, flee just like he'd intended to. Instead, he let himself be held, melting into Diamond’s embrace, welcoming against his own instincts the warmth and comfort of their arms.

“Do you actually have to go to work?”

“Um? Oh, yeah. I still have a few hours, though.”

“Stay?” Diamond asked, looking hopeful in a way that carefully masked their worry. Juno marveled at it, slowly coming to the realization that Diamond loved him. Diamond loved him. An incredible whirlwind of a person, charming and witty, smart and gentle, and they wanted _Juno_ by their side. They wanted him, and they didn't seem to mind that he was all kind of fucked up, that the words inside of him created unbreakable dams instead of flowing out of him. It still felt like a terrible idea, but they didn't seem to mind, didn't seem to care. All because they wanted him.

They wanted _him_.

“Yeah. Okay.”

Diamond smile was soft, some sort of power source that illuminated their face, making them stand out in a crowd, too bright to be overlooked. It made their handsome, sharp feature look softer, something private, reassuring. And right then, it was all for Juno.

He loved it.

* * *

By Juno’s count, he’d been in the bunker for at least a week when he finally managed to convince Diamond to let him out of his room.  
In the end, it came down to pleading for the opportunity to put on clean clothes and take a shower. Juno had asked, then demanded, then pouted, and finally, had resorted to looking at Diamond with sad, tired eyes, that used to always work on them when Juno was not quite sick enough to justify them taking care of him. At that, they finally gave in, and if they saw right through Juno’s game, they gave no sign of it.  
It wouldn’t really have mattered, if Juno was being honest, after almost a week of staying in his own guck, he could feel a black cloud of apathy begin to slowly descend upon him, and the mere idea of letting water slide down his body was enough to make him resort to all and any resources he might have had.  
Maybe this desperation was apparent to Diamond as well, or maybe they thought it was a ploy to escape, but in any case, they offered Juno an opaque blindfold and tied his wrists in a loose knot before taking his hand and leading him away from his cell.

From a logical standpoint, Juno knew the air couldn’t have been much different from one side of the door to the other, but it still felt like it was suddenly fresher, cleaner, and he breathed a sigh of relief he hadn’t realized he was holding once they crossed the threshold.  
Diamond’s hold of his hand was firm but soft. Their hand was cold, rougher than Juno remembered. Sure and strong, like a surgeon. Maybe some things never changed.  
Their thumb was gently caressing his palm, a gesture of reassurance Juno was almost certain was unconscious. He wanted to shake it but it'd been too long already, and he didn't want Diamond to get any idea.

Despite the blindfold, he tried to trace the map of the corridors they were going through with his mind. The passages were narrow, and the floor, uneven. They didn’t go far but even then, he wasn’t entirely sure of what kind of turn they had taken, and he had to admit he wasn't that much more informed when Diamond stopped.

“There you go.”

His hands were unbound and the blindfold soon followed, Diamond gently taking it away from his face. The bathroom was small and the floor along the walls was rusty, but the shower stood in a corner like the beautiful promise of blistering hot water and Juno couldn’t care less about the settings.

“Here.” Diamond gave him a small pile of clothes. “Take as long as you need. I’ll be outside the door when you're done.”

The clothes were black pants and a red shirt, a size too big on Juno, but with a familiar cut to them.

“Those are _your_ clothes.” He said, flatly.

Diamond didn’t look at him, busying themself with some towels hanging over a heater.

“It’s just while we wash yours, and then you can get them back, I promise.”

Juno gritted his teeth, annoyed that they made so much sense. He didn't want this false familiarity, these little reminder of the life they'd lived together. It was over. Diamond had put an end to it. What was the point of reminded him of the past at every opportunity?

“Don’t peek.” He spat angrily. If Diamond wanted to play this game, Juno wasn't going to lose. He surely wasn't the only one who didn't want his past shoved in his face.

He pulled his sweat over his head - ignoring their hurt expression - and they hastily made their exit.

 

The water was exactly as hot as Juno had hoped it would be, a blistering warmth that reminded him of the dangerous rays of Mars’s summer sun. He knew he was supposed to think, to find a way to escape, to contact _someone._  Instead he stayed several long minutes under the spray, letting the warmth wash him away, letting his memories disappear in the thrumming sound of water hitting the old tiles.  
He reminded himself of another lady, not quite like him, trying to drown himself in the shower of a shitty appartement, his mind uselessly cycling through memories, thinking over every move, every sentence, wondering what he could have changed, could have made better. Wondering if he just wasn't enough, wasn't worth it, looking at the water pooling at his feet and imagining it mounting, up, and up, slowly feeling the space around him, until it envelopped him, embraced him in a soundless, breathless world.

He wasn't that lady anymore, and he had a hole where had been his left eye to prove it. He wasn't that lady anymore, and it shouldn't have mattered that Diamond had left all this ago.  
And yet, he couldn't quite stop looking at the water, escaping down the drain, and thinking about mounting up, and up...

He came back into himself to a sound at the bathroom door, and the voice of Diamond traveling into the room.

“Juno? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he mumbled, just loud enough that Diamond wouldn't barge in. “Just lost track of time.”

 

When he did get out, wearing Diamond’s clothes in a weird, uncomfortable throwback, they glanced at him worriedly. Juno set his jaw and pointedly looked away.

“I have to…” They said, presenting him the black fabric with which they’d blocked his vision earlier.

“Just get on with it.”

The way back to Juno’s furnished cell was short and uneventful - Diamond gently guiding Juno by the hand – until Juno managed to trip on even ground and tipped forward, right into Diamond, almost knocking them off their feet.

“Juno! Are you okay?”

He only responded with an annoyed growl, feeling along Diamond’s sides to find a grip to redress himself with. They went very still under him, the both of them overly conscious of Juno’s hands accidentally retracing forgotten paths.

“Juno?” Asked Diamond, when Juno didn’t immediately let go of them.

He mulled over his words carefully before saying them.

“I missed you.”

They made a small sound in the back of their throat, too quiet for Juno to really understand what it meant, and he felt their hand rest against his cheek.

“Juno… I…”

“That’s not what I meant” he bit back angrily, finally snatching his hands away. “The way you left… It wasn’t fair.”

If that wasn’t winning him hypocritical bastard of the year, nothing would. Diamond took a short breath and dropped their hand.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have…”

“I don’t care.” Juno cut them off, suddenly afraid they would tell him more than he was ready to hear. “I just wanted you to know that... it hurt, and I missed you.”

Diamond apparently didn’t have anything to say to that, because they didn’t make another sound.

The door opened and they let him through, not even bothering to get the blindfold back from him.

Juno tore it away hurriedly, trying to stay quiet as he did so, and quickly got the comms out of the pocket he’d hid it in, sighing a silent breath of relief as he noticed it was his and not Diamond’s: hopefully this meant they wouldn’t immediately notice it had gone missing.

He almost felt bad about using Diamond’s - rather obvious - feelings against them. He probably would have if they hadn’t kidnapped him in the first place, but he couldn’t really have any qualms when it came to finding a way out of here.

He listened intently to the sounds coming from the other side of the door. It seemed Diamond stayed a long time on their side, not leaving, and Juno suddenly got worried they’d want to get in and talk to him about the past or whatever bullshit they felt gave them a right to Juno’s time. Eventually though, he could hear the remnant of a heavy sigh, and footsteps leading away from the door.

The sound fell away and Juno forced himself to wait a full minute before he took the comms out again, immediately dialing a familiar number.

* * *

Diamond’s hair pooled on the mattress, their brilliant red shade faded in the darkness of the room. They looked peaceful, quietly content, and their hand, for once, was warm in Juno’s, grasping gently at his fingers. They looked perfect, beautiful and leaning, always, towards Juno, their arms open for him to fall into.  
Just for him.  
He was glad for it, and so, so scared.

It felt like Diamond had built both of them a tower made of glass, beautiful and tall, from which even Juno was able to glance at the future. But a single wrong move could send it toppling down. It felt as though any misstep could destroy their careful equilibrium. Keeping it up seemed impossible, and yet… a part of Juno wanted to try.

The thought of ever making that one, fatal wrong move had settled itself like a solid rock wedged in his throat. Every time Juno closed his eyes, he could imagine Diamond in a pool of blood, their vibrant, incredible red hair now rivers of blood. Their throat would be slashed and their lips, unmoving, but their dead eyes would stare Juno down, in their stillness accusing him of being the reason of their downfall; accusing him of destroying everything. He couldn’t help but think of their open, honest face, contorted in a rage he’d never seen directed at him, asking him to leave, to leave them alone, to stop poisoning their live. The image of it seemed to have printed itself inside his eyelids, moving pictures that pursued him in the night and kept terrible what-ifs at the forefront of his mind.

And the ugliest part of him whispered this fate wouldn’t be the worst to pick. In a universe even Juno’s worst nightmares didn’t care to grasp fully, Diamond simply gave up on him. The light faded in their eyes, not in death but in indifference, and Juno was left alone, with no scars to show for it - only a sunken emptiness that festered and invaded his chest until there was nothing left of one Juno Steel.

And Juno _hated_ it, hated that he would take Diamond’s forever and imprison them with it, but he desperately wanted them to stay by his side; to stay - as much as they could - _his_ , as selfish as that may be.

When Juno finally gave up the idea of joining Diamond in their sleep, he reluctantly disentangled himself from their grasping fingers, carefully replacing the blanket around their shoulders, and went to stand in front of the windows. The view was beautiful, even if he had to make a conscious effort not to look down. Diamond had half laughed when he’d told them his hatred of heights, but they’d proposed to move in with him in a flat closer to the ground, with this tranquil assurance that made Juno want to rely on them for everything, forever.

Forever... Diamond had made so many promises, and it seemed surrealist, impossible, sometimes, but Juno wanted to believe in every single one of them. He wanted it, more desperately than he ever thought he would.  
And he believed them, he really did, but could he believe in himself? Was there a path where he didn’t send everything crashing down?

Anxiously, he turned the ring over his finger, concentrating on the little band of metal not to let his breath quicken out of control.

It ended up being too much, and he would have dived into Diamond’s arms, asked for comfort and reassurance, but it seemed unfair, seemed like they would see it as doubt, mistrust maybe, on his part.  
They would understand, he thought. They always did, but maybe it would hurt them too, and that. Wasn’t. Fair.

Juno didn’t know _how_ to be fair.

He finally gave in, grabbing his comms and calling a well-known number.

Benten picked up on the second ring.

“’lo? Juno? t’s wrong?”

“Hey… I…”

The words were stuck in his throat, too big, too important to pass through.

“Is something wrong? Aren’t you at Diamond’s?” Benten’s words were still mumbled, but he sounded more and more awake with worry, a sound Juno knew all too well.

“Yeah. No, I am… It’s fine, I just… I… They…” Juno turned the ring on his fingers, the enormity of it all crashing down on him once again.

“Juno? Are you okay? Did something happen? Is it Diamond?”

“No! No, it’s fine. Diamond’s fine. We’re fine.” Even now, in the midst of his panic, the words felt comforting.

“They didn’t do anything did they? I swear to god, if…”

“No! Well I mean, they…” Juno took a shuddering breath “They proposed… to me.”

A pause.

“What?”

“Come on, Benten, don’t make me say it again! I…”

“No, I heard you! Just… really?”

It sounded like… approbation… or some kind of wonder maybe, and Juno couldn’t help but smile, thinking back on how Diamond had looked, slowly dropping to their knee in front of him, their eyes on his the entire time while Juno tried not to panic.

“Yes, really.”

“Wow.” Benten was silent for an instant, obviously taking it in. “So. Did you cry?”

“What? No!”

“Come on, I know you, _Junbug_ . If you _didn’t_ cry I would think they replaced you with some kind of robot.”

Juno huffed, amused despite himself.

“Wel, _maybe_ I did, but nobody has any proof.”

“Are you kidding? Knowing Diamond, they’ll have a photographer taking pictures of you at every anniversary so they can reminisce when you’re both grey and old.”

The silence that followed wasn’t so uncomfortable or scary, and Juno felt as if bubbles of euphory were popping, one after another, in his stomach, stretching his mouth into a smile he couldn’t quite repress.

“Assuming… you said yes?” Benten’s tone had become serious again, and Juno sobered up.

“I… Yeah.” He said quietly. “Yeah. I did.”

“ _Wow_. I’m really happy for you, Juno.”

Juno’s throat became thick again.

“Thanks, I… I’m happy too.”

There was another pause before Benten spoke again.

“So… _why_ aren’t you having fantastic sex with your new fiancée right now?”

Juno was about to reply that he, in fact, already had had fantastic sex with his new fiancée, thank you very much, but the hos throat closed up again, and he could only take a sharp intake of breath, suddenly remembering why he wasn’t cozily tucked in Diamond’s arms.

“I…”

“Juno” Said Benten softly “Why are you freaking out?”

“I’m not, I don’t…”

“C’mon, I _know_ you. What’s wrong?” a pause, then “You know Diamond loves you, right? I mean, you’re pretty much their entire universe; even _I_ am jealous sometimes. I want someone like that.”

“I _know_. I just… Ben… what if…” He closed his eyes tightly and forced a gulp of air into his lungs “what if I fuck it up?”

He could feel fat, angry tears gathering in his eyes, and wiped at them raggedly.

“Juno… come on, you’re not going to fuck it up.” His brother sounded so sad, so tired, and Juno _hated_ it. Hated that he couldn’t just keep it in, instead of constantly burdening Benten with his bullshit.

“How do you know that?” Juno couldn’t help the ugly sob that tore out of his throat. “What if I… What if I…” He couldn’t even finish the thought, every scenario worse that the last. “You know I can’t… I’m not good enough to… I’m not _good_ enough for _them_ , okay?!”

“You _know_ that’s not true. I know you’re worried…”

“But it _is_.”

“ _Listen to me_ . Diamond _loves_ you. _I_ know that; _everybody_ knows that. Hell, even _Mick_ knows that, and he's cute but not always the brightest. And I know  _y_ _ou_ know that.”

“But…”

“No. _Listen_ . I don’t know what you’ve been telling yourself this time around, but it’s _not_ true. They don’t _somehow_ only love the part of you that’s not messed up okay? They _know_ exactly how messed up you are, and they love you _anyway_ .” Benten let that sink just long enough that Juno couldn’t protest. “And, okay, you know what? _Maybe_ you’re gonna make mistakes, alright, because _everybody_ does, and knowing Diamond: _They. Won’t. Care._ So if you’re not happy with them, you can bail, but don’t you dare play the but I’m not good enough card, because one: _it’s not true_. It _isn’t_. And two: No one cares about that bullshit. _I_ don’t care, _they_ don’t care, and - I know it’s hard - but _you_ shouldn’t either.”

Juno wiped his eyes quietly.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Benten took a shuddering breath at the other end of the line.

“I know you don’t believe it, but you’re the best brother, okay? You-  _I_ wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for you. I just want you to be happy. And if Diamond ever breaks your heart, I’ll break their face, alright?”

Juno had to laugh a bit at that.

“I thought you liked them.”

“I do! I just like you better.”

A smile blossomed, unprovoked, on Juno’s face, and his heart felt a tad lighter.

“Sorry for calling so late.”

“Eh… It’s fine, I’ll just chug four coffees tomorrow morning, and pretend I locked myself out again.”

Juno chuckled.

“You should come by, when you have the time. I… We’d be happy to have you over.”

“ _Damn_ , I can’t believe you’re gonna get married before I do.”

“Yeah…”

They stayed silent a few moments.

“Hey. Benten? You’re… okay, right?”

“I’m fine. Just tired. I think we should both go back to bed.”

“Yeah, okay. Goodnight.”

“Nighty night. And, Juno?”

“Yeah?”

“Congratulations.”

“Oh. Yeah. Thanks.”

“Goodnight.”

“’Night.”

Juno looked over the city for an instant after hanging up, but not for long. He was getting cold, and now that he’s calmed down, he was eager to find Diamond’s arms again, to dive back into their warmth and to sleep beside them; to wake up next to them, again and again, hopefully, for ever.

When he reached the bed, they were awake, looking at him in the dark.

“I… Sorry.”

They shook their head and extended a hand to him. He took it - the ring shining faintly in the dim light - and let himself be pulled back into their arms.

“I love you.” Whispered Diamond into his curls.

“… Love you too.” Murmured Juno in their shoulder, barely audible, gripping them tight and never wishing to leave.

 _It’s not gonna be easy,_ he thought _, but it’s going to be worth it._

 

  
_"Diamond's hair pooled on the matress"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey.  
> Benten's the best.  
> Shit I'm crying again.
> 
> Also is it the time to say I super did not make a Diamond playlist? It's not quite ready yet.
> 
> Hey, peeps. I love you, you're all special and amazing, and I hope you all have a Benten in your life


	3. I wish you knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All stories come to an end, and glass towers all shatter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are so many damn showers in this fic. I swear, I don't know how that happenned. In this chapter we get. A boi
> 
> Also It's not as late as usual, but my eyes were literally closing by themsemves when I finished editing the last scene so I hope it's not much of a disaster.
> 
> I love you all

His brother sounded tired and weary when he answered.

“Who is this?”

“Hey Benten.”

“Juno?!” There was a sound around him, the distinct snap of something and a muted, familiar cry.

“That’s me.” All the tension that had been contracting Juno’s muscles into a tight, stiff mass began to seep out of him. “Are you okay? Is Rita there?”

“I’m fine but- Hey!”

“BOSS! WHERE ARE YOU?! WE’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU-”

“Goddammit Rita! Be quiet!”

She went silent again and Juno looked worriedly at the door of his cell. Admittedly, even Rita couldn’t manage to be that loud out of a comms, but you never knew.

“So, I take it something did happen.” Benten seemed to have taken the comms back from Rita, and he sounded about as tense as Juno was starting to feel again.

“Yeah. I’m fine, though. I got… kidnapped, but I’m fine. And I managed to take my comms back without them noticing, I think.”

Unless Diamond had let him take it, but… they didn’t have any reason to, did they?

“What do you mean, you guess? I hardly think being kidnapped is an ambiguous situation, I-” He cut himself off “Whatever, not the time. Do you know where you are?”

“I think out on the desert? It’s hard to know, I haven’t seen any windows in there, but it looks like some kind of radiation bunker.”

“Okay.” – A sound of a keyboard being typed on began in the background, probably Rita working her computer – “Did you recognize the group who took you? Is it someone we know: an angry client or something like that?”

“It’s not an angry client.” Juno swallowed, his throat dry. “It’s Diamond.”

Silence fell on the other side, both from Benzaiten, and from the keyboard Juno could hear.

“What.”

It didn’t sound like a question.

Benzaiten took a breath.

“Did they hurt you?” And his voice sounded cold, dangerous like it rarely did - sounded a lot more like Juno’s that he was entirely comfortable with.

“No! No, I’m fine, they’re… I don’t think they’re going to hurt me.”

“I’m going to kill them.”

“Ben...”

“How dare they just come back and-“

“Benten! Not the time! Nobody’s killing anyone! Hell, why is everyone so stuck on murder?”

Benzaiten let out a sigh, and Juno heard a murmured voice close to him.

“Okay. Alright.” His breath was coming in loud and heavy, “What do we do then? _You’re_ super Steel, I’m just regular Steel, I don’t…”

“Hey, hey, hey it’s fine. Ben, come on. First of all, if I’m super Steel, you’re awesome Steel, right? We’ll be fine. Listen, Diamond is trying to make nice, so they won’t hurt me, but they plan on taking down a lot of people.

“ _Juno_ , that’s not the problem right now. We need to get you out of here.”

“ _I’ll be fine_. I’ve been trying to convince them to change their mind, and so far, it’s kind of working.”

“Dammit Juno, stop it! _This isn’t fine_. They kidnapped you and we don’t know what they might do. You say you’re okay but that can’t be right...

“That’s not important!”

Benzaiten made a strangled sound of anger.

“Ben. I promise. It’s fine. Listen. Did you contact Rex? He can help me get out, and you and Rita can take care of Diamond’s set up.”

His brother let out an exasperated sigh.

“Yeah sure, your boyfriend’s there. Rita contacted him. Actually… here.”

Juno forgot how to breathe for an instant, and then…

“ _Juno_.”

“Hey.”

The full force of their absence suddenly hit Juno right in the gut. All week, he’d been trying to make sense of Diamond but right then, he only cared about the rivulet of voices trickling down his ear, reminding him of his weird little family. He missed Peter, he missed his brother, he missed Rita, and even Mick. He wanted to be with them, not stranded in some kind gilded prison because Diamond thought they could change the world, or whatever it was they telling themself.

“Juno. Are you okay? Who’s Diamond?”

“My ex. Ex-fiancée.”

“Oh.” Peter knew the bare minimum about the whole story. He knew Juno had had a fiancée, and that was pretty much it. “I see. Are you sure they don’t intend to hurt you?”

“I…” Juno tried to actively think about it. Of course Diamond had hurt him by _leaving_ , but they’d never been violent, even verbally, with him.Seeing them and interacting with them felt like probing at an open wound but that, Juno could handle. And ultimately, they had yet to ever come close to physically injure him. “Yes, I’m sure.” The worst they’d done so far had been reminding Juno of something that he’d thought he’d finally managed to push away after fifteen years of them gone.

_I love you, Juno Steel. I will always love you._

If only he knew what to do with that.

They both stayed silent on their respective end of the receiver. Juno tried to imagine Peter, probably making that closed up face he did when he didn’t want to admit he was worried, clad in all black with the exception of his white collar and violet tie. He would look out of place in Ben’s little flat, and yet Juno had no problem picturing him in it, a touch of his life nestled into the other.

“I should get Ben or Rita” finally said Juno, to not say _I missed you I love you I want you to be right there, right now_. “To give them what they need about Diamond’s plans.”

“Yes. Of course.”

There was a bit of a shuffle on the other side.

“Juno” murmured Peter, right before giving the comms to Benzaiten. “I’m coming to get you. I love you.”

Juno’s lips were impossibly dry as he whispered back.

“Love you too.”

“Right.” Benten’s mocking voice responded to him, “this is all very good and all – “shut up!” – but we do need that plan at some point, super Steel.”

“I hate you.” Juno’s cheek were burning.

“Sure you do. C’mon: what’s the plan?”

Juno didn’t have all the details, but Diamond had given him enough information that he had a pretty good idea of where they were likely to strike first. He gave a list to Ben and Rita, trying to remember every single detail, thinking about Diamond’s words: “It won’t be your fault, you don’t have to make a decision”. Well, he was making it, no matter what they thought.

It didn’t feel so bad to help save people.

* * *

Juno was just out of his shower and about to put on the surprisingly nice skirt Mick had insisted on offering him for his birthday when his comms started to ring.

“Hey.” Even he could feel the smile on his face, as he tucked the phone between his head and shoulder to try and slip his thighs on at the same time.

“Juno. Darling. I’m sorry,” Juno’s smile flattered, “I think I’m going to be held up at work. I won’t be able to be there for our dinner. I’m _so_ sorry.”

“Oh.” Juno let the thighs fall from his slack fingers, and sat down, heavily, on the bed.

“Darling, I’m really sorry, something came up and I-” Diamond interrupted themselves. Their voice sounded strained and Juno could hear a faint hiss, someone talking in a rapid, annoyed tone.

“It’s fine.” Said Juno softly, trying not to feel too disappointed. He’d actually been looking forward to the evening. Going to a nice, unassuming restaurant with Diamond, seeing them in their element as they talked about their crazy patients as a surgeon, and urging Juno to talk about his new job and Ben’s new cases. Another noise passed, muffled, through the comms, sounding like a bitten off curse. “Everything alright over there?”

Diamond sighed heavily.

“An operation went… poorly, and we now have to deal with the aftermath. It’s uncomfortable, to say the least, but I’ll be fine.” They paused an instant, and the background noise Juno had been hearing fell away, as if they’d closed a door. “I’m really sorry about tonight, Juno… I was really looking forward to it.”

Juno kicked half-heartedly at the pile of clothes on the floor.

“Yeah.” He said, letting out a sigh. “Me too.”

“Do you want me to call the restaurant to shift the reservation? You could go with Benzaiten if you wanted.”

“Oh. Ben’s on vacation on Io. With Mick, remember?”

“Right.”

A pause.

“Juno, I’m really sorry... I…”

“It’s okay. I get it. It’s what I get for marrying a doctor I guess. No one can get enough of you.”

Diamond chuckled at that, and the sound brought a smile to Juno’s face.

“Maybe they should learn to, so I can spend more time with my fiancée…” A sound interrupted them and they sighed again. “I have to go. I’ll try and be done as soon as possible, but you probably shouldn’t wait up.”

“Alright. Go save the world or whatever.” And think of me while you do it, Juno wasn’t courageous enough to add.

“I will.” Said Diamond anyway, as if they’d heard him. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” Mumbled Juno, and Diamond hung up, leaving him in the silence of their flat.

He sighed as he looked at the thighs now sadly crumpled on the floor. It felt as though all his energy had just melted away, and he was left with a kind of despondency he didn’t know how do to deal with. Just letting himself fall on the bed and staying there until Diamond came back was tempting, but this way laid demons Juno had been trying very hard to chase away, and he forced himself to get up instead.  
There was, unsurprisingly, not much more to do standing than sitting and Juno found himself listlessly reading the titles of the small collection of books Diamond kept, neatly tucked away on a shelf, over a low desk they barely used. On the desk were a few files, neatly organized in stacks Diamond riffled through from time to time, whenever someone from work called them to ask for a detail on a specific patient. Those phone calls almost always tore Diamond away from Juno, and if it hadn’t been obvious that Diamond loved their job as much as they did, Juno would probably have resented it for taking so much of his fiancée’s time.

His fiancée… They were halfway into their… engagement and Juno could barely wrap his head around the concept still. In less than four months, he’d be Diamond’s wife. The idea was both terrifying and exciting, despite the fact that they were already living together, and for all intent and purposes, already led the life of a married couple.

Juno sat himself at the desk, tempted to try and read despite already feeling too restless to actually be able to stay still long enough for it. All the same, he picked up a book that announced itself as a polar, something Juno remembered enjoying when he’d still had the time to read.

As far as he could tell, it was even a fairly good book, but predictably, a few half-read pages in, Juno felt too jittery to actually enjoy the plot, his mind swinging wildly back and forth between Diamond and his own mounting sense of dread. One missed date meant nothing, he knew that, and Diamond had sounded sincerely disappointed not to be able to spend time with him. But what if they realized Juno was only slowing them down, that his constant need for attention was keeping them from more important things? What if, one missed date grew into two, three, more, until Juno was reduced to an afterthought, a shadow of what Diamond wanted from him, an obligation that was beginning to be easier to discard than to take care of?

Juno put the book aside to rest his head on the cool wood of the desk, forcing himself to concentrate on his breathing rather than on the swirling thoughts plaguing his brain.

Benten was away with Mick, and Juno didn’t want to disturb him. Maybe if he let both of them enough time alone, they would finally fall into each other arms and Juno could stop straining his eyes from rolling them so hard every time he saw them awkwardly gravitate around each other.

He wasn’t a burden. He wasn’t. It was true when Diamond said it, and when Benten said it, and it was true even when none of them were there to say it. He was… doing okay, and Diamond loved him. He closed his eyes to try and remember the shape of the words as they’d traveled through the receiver. Maybe it was hard to believe, Benten always said, but he was not a burden.

Juno released a last breath, pushing his arms outwards as he did so, trying to work the tension out of his shivering limbs..

Before he could fully process what was happening, his left hand caught one of Diamond’s well-organized pile, which toppled over the edge of the desk, with a heavy sound of administrative disaster.

Juno swore into the wood.

Then, because he could hardly expect Diamond’s papers to tidy themselves up, he got up and began to gather them, wondering if there was a way to reorganize them the way Diamond did. Doing it alphabetically seemed like a good bet: even if it wasn’t how Diamond ordered them, it still meant they wouldn’t have to wonder too much about where was which file.

Juno did not think much of it when he saw the first picture, of a woman talking to some guy and giving him something. They took a good half of the picture, but they weren’t central to it, and it basically looked like the picture of a street. The guy was a bit familiar, maybe, but Juno just put it back in the file it seemed to belong to.

The next picture was of Pilot Pereyra. That was a bit weird. Pilot Pereyra was a public figure, and they liked a show, but they also were a criminal, and liked to go private with anything that wasn’t a big demonstration of power or a runway. For example, when they were smuggling coke, Juno thought somberly as he noticed the four people in the background of the picture exchanging what looked like small bags of flour.

Glancing at the rest of the papers that had spread on the floor, Juno could see this wasn’t the only picture of Pereyra. They weren’t always doing anything illegal in them - as much as Pereyra could spend more than a few minutes without doing something somewhat reprehensible. Sometimes they were merely coming out their house, or on the phone, or on a date with a pretty lady whose smile was too wide to be quite frank.

Those were surveillance photos, realized Juno. Meant to give information on a target and to get an idea of their schedule, to gather information to trap catch someone red handed or set up a trap for them.

Why did Diamond keep surveillance photos? Were they the one that had taken them? And why?  
There was a thought in Juno’s head, that Diamond had never quite said anything about their past, about the actual, detailed reason they’d left Neptune for. There was a thought in Juno’s head, that he didn’t have to open those files, that he could tidy them up and forget about them, forget about everything and hide forever in Diamond’s arms. There was a thought, somehow, that this sounded about right, that he’d finally found a way to send their glass tower toppling down.

Juno’s hand on top of the unspilled files clenched. He didn’t have to open those files. For all he knew, this had nothing to do with Diamond. Maybe they were just keeping the files for someone else, someone from his family that did some shady stuff. It didn’t have to mean they were doing anything wrong or illegal. Juno just had to trust them and not invade their privacy.

He opened the file.

There were printed out emails in the files as well as pictures, a string of conversations that looked perfectly mundane, nothing to notice in particular, but the use of a few recurrent words seemed somewhat suspect to him. He didn’t have the time or the composure to decipher it right then, but he was willing to bet these messages contained some kind of coded message, conversation that translated to drug deals or murders or whatever was all the rage in Hyperion City’s mafia.

Pereyra wasn’t the only one in those files either. A number of cops appeared here and there, taking bribes, getting out of their houses, eating greasy sandwich in their patrol car, making rounds in a nocturnal Hyperion City…

At some point Juno had a terrifying thought and frantically searched through all of the pictures. Thankfully, Ben was only in a few of them, and never in any kind of focus: he was always either halfway cut out of the picture or talking to some other officer. Juno was relieved to see none of them showed his brother coming out of his flat or hanging out in a bar with Mick. If Diamond had any meaningful pictures of Benzaiten, they didn’t keep them with the rest of it. A shiver ran down Juno’s spine when he realized this may mean his brother was protected because of his relationship with Diamond.

Almost all of the rest of the HCPD was there, though, and Juno realized the man he’d seen in that first picture was one of the older cop sharing Ben’s shifts: Trevor Blake, shaking a greasy hand with a criminal that the HCPD had arrested a few weeks back: Killian Scully.

In fact, almost all of the Hyperion City administrative and judicial officers were filled away in neat little stacks, along with their criminal counterparts.

After almost a whole hour of looking blankly at this collection of Hyperion City’s finest, Juno finally figured out what was missing. Hyperion City had a good collection of mafia family, and if you wanted to survive more than a few days in it, you had to have a pretty expansive knowledge of them even if you weren’t the brother of a cop. The Neptunian mafia had their territories south of the city, not too far from the Kanagawas studio. They were hardly a small family, and yet if Juno had only had those pictures and emails to map out Hypercion City, he would have had no idea they existed at all.

Diamond came from Neptune, didn’t they? They had inexplicable scars, some of them fresher than Juno’s. They’d come home last month with a cut on their forearm, saying they had had a particularly violent patient, and Juno hadn’t thought anything of it, hadn’t wanted to see what had been right in front of him, this entire time. When they’d met, Diamond had said they had some family on Jupiter, some relatives that had helped them find work, find a flat, find a life in Hyperion City.

Juno’s skin felt icy cold.

_Did you really not suspect anything?_

_You saw those scars. You kissed them._

_You shared a bed and a life with them. Do you really expect us to believe you didn’t know?_

_They never told you they were a doctor, either, did they? You just assumed because it was easier than to realized you were engaged to a mafioso._

_What do you think they do? Sell drugs? Carry messages? Maybe make some of the hits? Isn’t that how mafia works? How many people do you think they killed?_

_Were you really stupid enough to think you could have this?_

_“I love you”_

Juno had to close his eyes to fight a wave of dizziness. Slowly, as he tried to make sense of it all, he could sense the image of Diamond in his head slowly fall apart, bits after bits casted away with every contradictions Juno’s mind could now spot. It felt as if their glass tower had finally fell aside, shattering on the ground: razor sharp fragments of memory that embedded themselves in Juno’s torso, making a bloody mess of his heart.

A tear fell on Juno’s hand, and he blinked, realizing at once he’d begun to cry. He raggedly wiped at his face, and forced himself to get up.

He needed… he needed some air. He needed to think. He hastily put the pictures together, placing them back messily into their usual place, and grabbed his coat on his way out. He still had the new skirt on, but all the excitement he had felt at getting to wear it was now a dark mess of conflicting emotions, and without his thighs, the cold air hit his legs hard, an immediate shock to his system that felt like a liberation.

Diamond… Diamond had lied to him. Maybe they’d had a good reason… maybe they didn’t have a choice… maybe… the thoughts jumbled and entangled themselves in his brain, a complicated mess of hurt and incomprehension. Juno couldn’t make sense of any of it, couldn’t understand the throbbing hurt that resonated in his brain.

He walked, and walked, and walked, until rain started to fall, and the sound was loud enough to drown out his thoughts.

 

Diamond was coming out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around them as they dried their hair, when Juno quietly let the flat door fall behind him.

“Juno? I was about to call you. Did you go out with… Juno?”

He didn’t know how he looked, but Diamond was suddenly very close, looking worriedly at him.

“Have you been crying? Did something happen?”

He opened his mouth to say something. An accusation, maybe, a demand for explanation, even a lie, but no sound came out.

“Oh Juno…” Diamond hugged him close, and Juno let himself be led into their arms, his head nestling itself into their shoulder. Their skin was warm and soft, and he couldn’t help but think that his cold, soaked and dirty coat couldn’t be comfortable for them, but Diamond held on, caressing Juno’s hair, and murmuring soothing words into his ear.

“I’ve got you. We’ve got this. I love you. Juno, I love you so much.”

It didn’t sound like a lie.

Why didn’t it sound like a lie?

Juno stayed in their arms for what felt like a long time, not quite sure if he was crying or not, feeling his chest bursting open with feelings too strong and complicated to be explained. There was only one thing he felt sure of, then.

He loved them. Maybe they’d lied to him this whole time, maybe they’d been using him for long enough that he’d never caught on, but _he. Loved. Them._

There was more to this.

There had to be.

Juno wasn’t sure what he’d do if there wasn’t.

* * *

 

To Diamond’s credit, it didn’t take them a lot of time to catch on.

“Where is it?”

Juno lifted his head from the book he was pretending to read – Diamond’s attempt at distracting him from the fact that they’d put him in a what was essentially a prison – to look at them. He was clad in Diamond’s shirt and slightly too long boxers that he’d kept in prevision of exactly this moment. Diamond had always liked them in their clothes and he had decided to bank on every chance to throw them off.

“What?”

Diamond barely glanced at him, which felt slightly insulting, and began searching the room, looking under clothes and books.

“Diamond, what the hell? What are you doing?” Juno tried to sound angry and confused, but he probably sounded strained instead, and Diamond threw him an exasperated look.

“I’m not _stupid_ , Juno, I _know_ you managed to steal the comms, and I know you called Benzaiten with it.”

Juno tried to look languid and unconcerned, like he imagined Rex Glass would, his eye turning back to his book.

“Do you, now?”

“ _Juno_ …”

“ _Don’t_ Juno _me_.” And there went the pseudo Rex Glass. Juno really wasn’t made for that kind of subterfuge.

“Where is the comms?”

“Do I need to remind you it’s _my_ comms, that _you_ have because you _kidnapped_ me? What makes you think I should do anything to accommodate you?”

Diamond sighed, an aggravated, tired sigh, and Juno really hated them right then. They didn’t get to be annoyed, they didn’t get to act if his they were anything more than his captor.

“I thought we’d reached an agreement, Juno.”

He huffed a derisive laugh.

“Yeah. Well. _I_ thought it was pretty clear that that ship had sailed when - once again! - you _kidnapped_ me!”

“I am sorry that…”

Juno never knew what Diamond was sorry for because they were interrupted by a comms’ ring.

There was a terrifying moment of silence when Juno was convinced the ringing was coming from his on comms, that he’d placed under his mattress, in a not very original but ultimately effective hiding place.

Then the second ring resonated in the silence, and Diamond, their eyes still trained in Juno’s, got their own comms out before answering it.

“Hello.”

“Hi! Mix Diamond! Have you heard the news?! Someone got _arresteeeeeed_.”

Diamond’s glare grew even wearier and Juno had to repress a smile. Rita was obviously trying to sound mysterious, but. Well. That didn’t quite work.

“I believe I did, Rita.”

“Rita? I’m not Rita! I don’t know any beautiful, incredibly clever secretary named Rita? She’s not there!”

Juno couldn’t help but chuckle, averting his eyes as he did so.

“I got the message, miss.” Assured Diamond, finally managing to stop Rita’s incessant protest. They didn’t sound angry, or annoyed anymore, just tired.

“Right! Well! I stopped you from completing your _evil_ plan, Mix Diamond! The HCPD has got your guy that was gonna get the mayor, and they’ll _keep_ him!”

“That is what I heard, yes.”

“He’s not getting out soon!”

“Okay.”

“And- what?”

“I said: “Okay” Ri- Miss.”

“But, but, but-”

“Was there any… point to this call?”

“Yes! There is a point! I was getting to that! Don’t think you can outsmart me, Mix, because you can’t! Rita can’t be outsmarted! And I don’t appreciate-”

“Your point, miss?”

“Right! If you give us the boss back, you can get your guy back! So give the boss back! Or you’ll see what we’ve got coming for you. Mistah Ben is very unhappy with you, Mix! And when Ben is unhappy, so are a lot of people! And the Boss don’t like people making his brother unhappy either, so really you should agree to the exchange, because as I _said_ , the Boss doesn’t like…”

“That is all very fine, Miss.” And this time, Diamond was the one facing away from Juno, hiding their face by looking to the side, their long hair falling in place like a curtain of privacy. “But you can’t promise that exchange.”

“What?! I said it, didn’t I? Give the Boss back, or I’ll…”

“The HCPD will never accept to give up a suspect in exchange for Juno, Rita. They don’t care about their citizens enough for that, and if they believe my “guy” to have any information for them, they won’t want to let go of him.”

“But but but…”

“They’re right, Rita,” said Juno, loudly enough for her to hear him over the phone.

“BOSS!” Diamond had to get the phone away from their ear, and Juno refrained another laugh: it was a specific kind of… feeling to have a full on energy Rita squealing in your ear, and a spiteful kind of glee to share that pain. “BOSS BOSS BOSS BOSS BOSS BOSS!! Let me _SPEAK_ TO HIM! LET ME SPEAK TO HIM!”

Juno gave Diamond a look, and they surrendered the comms to him, staying close to him as they did so, as if Juno could make a run for it just because he was suddenly in the possession of electronics he didn’t know how to use.

“Hey, Rita.”

“BOSS! Mix Diamond really messed up _big_ time, Mistah Steel! And no one messes with me and _my_ boss! And Mistah Ben also said that he would break their _face_ when he’d _see_ them, and _I_ said-”

“It’s fine, Rita. I’m _fine_.”

“And they should really _watch_ out, because _I-_ ”

“ _Rita_. Thank you. But I probably should go.”

Diamond had not moved out of Juno’s space. They were almost sharing breath now, and Juno wasn’t sure it had anything to do with monitoring him anymore. Maybe the clothes were working after all. It didn’t seem like such a good plan anymore.

“Tell them _I-_ ”

“I will, Rita. Thanks.”

“Bye bye boss! Take care of yourself!”

Juno rolled his eyes fondly.

“You too. See you soon.”

The line went dead and he wasted no time in pushing the comms into Diamond’s chest.

“You heard the lady. She’s not happy with you.”

They stared back, his expression inscrutable.

“So you called your secretary. Juno, please give me your comms back now.”

“Why? I already gave her the information she needed, didn’t I? Giving it back won’t change anything.” He looked right into their eyes. “Besides, I still have to call my _boyfriend_ with it. _Someone_ is keeping me from him and I _miss_ _him_.”

It was petty, Juno knew, but he’d had more than enough of Diamond and their damned impassible face. They swallowed upon hearing the sentence, their jaw tense.

“Where is the comms, Juno?”

“Why? Don’t you think I deserve to have some good time chatting with him? After everything _you_ put me through?”

Diamond’s stare into sometimes uglier, angrier.

“This is ridiculous.”

“Oh, is it? Why, you don’t want to hear about my _boyfriend_ ? Would that be that you’re _jealous_ , Diamond?”

They huffed derisively, but their tight brow betrayed them.

“I merely think you can do better.”

They tried to go around him, ostensibly to search the bed, but Juno had had enough of their fucking attitude and their fucking superiority complex. His hand shot out, grabbing their collar and breaking their momentum. Diamond made a surprised sound as they tumbled halfway down on the bed, and looked almost fearful when Juno brought both their faces close together.

“You _left_ me, alright? You lied to me, and you manipulated me, and then, you _left_ me. So you don’t have a say in what I do and who I’m with. If you wanted to have any pull in my life, you would still be in it.”

“Juno-”

“ _SHUT UP!_ ”

Diamond obeyed, looking up at Juno with a frozen expression; shocked silent. They looked a lot smaller like this, sprawled on a bed while they waited for Juno’s next move, not daring to move for fear of reprisal. Juno suddenly wanted to shout, to break something-  
As soon as the idea passed through his brain, he felt a wave of nausea travel his whole being.

“Don’t look at me like that. I’m not going to hit you.”

“Juno, I wouldn’t…”

“I don’t care.” Juno retrieved his hand, trying to hide its trembling as he cradled it close to himself. “Get out. If you want to get that comms back, get you guys in here to beat me up or whatever. I don’t want to see your face anymore.”

Diamond stood up silently, their inscrutable, impassible expression back on their face. Their stared at Juno the whole time, but he couldn’t look back, averting his eye and feeling queasy.

When the door closed behind them, Juno felt the dam break and his knees turned to jelly below him. He fell on the ground, drawing in desperate, painful breaths.

The panic attack lasted several eternities and Juno spent it all with a vicious hope that Diamond was still behind the door: that they could hear every rasping breath, every cut off sob. That they would know how much they’d hurt him, how much they still did; hoping their breath was as short as his when he’d been left alone and broken at the other side of that little table, at the other side of that metal door.

* * *

Juno had almost managed to forget the incident with the photographs – he would toss and turn in the night, trying to figure out what Diamond did with this information, and he’d steer away from Diamond’s desk as much as he could, too afraid of what else he’d find there – when the hospital called in the middle of one of his shift.

“Hello?” He’d said, half-expecting a infomercial from the unknown number.

“Juno Steel?”

“That’s me.”

“Hyperion city Hospital calling. We have received Diamond Diaz in our care, and you’re listed as next of kin.”

The air left Juno’s lungs. Or rather, the air left the whole universe around him, and someone must have caught the light, because suddenly he wasn’t in a shitty kitchen making crepes, but in complete darkness, where all he could see, all he could hear, was the surprised sound Sarah Steel was making as she-

“Mr Steel? Are you listening? Mix Diaz is fine: they are unconscious at the moment but there has been no complications. Can you hear me? _They’re fine_.”

“I-” Juno forced air back into his lungs “Yes. Thank you.”

“We expect Mix Diaz to wake up in a few hours. Close family members and partners are allowed for visits. Do you want the room number?”

“I... Yes, please.”

Juno’s boss has met Diamond once or twice and was very understanding despite Juno’s near incoherency. She let him go at once, and informed him he could skip work the next day if he needed to.

 

When Juno stepped into the room where Diamond was sleeping, their red hair resting haphazardly on the white pillow under their head, he could finally breathe in relief, only to smell the aseptic scent of hospital and gag around it, the smell bringing memories of being small and scared, of looking into Ben’s face and seeing the same fear there...

He approached the hospital bed almost warily: afraid to see what was waiting for him. Diamond’s right arm was in a slight, and their skin was peppered with dark bruises, most of them on his face, and of what Juno could see of their shoulder.

Rationally, he knew they’d been lucky: the nurse had told him they’d suffered a shock to the head that hadn’t been quite so bad that they had had to suture them, and while Diamond had fallen unconscious soon after stumbling into their emergency room, mumbling about a mugging, it seemed they didn’t have a concussion. Even their arm wasn’t broken, just sprained, and he’d been assured that overall, they’d made it out fine. Still, he had to fight the tears that wanted to escape him as he took hold of Diamond’s undamaged hand.

He hadn’t been sleeping well lately, wondering who the loving arms that held him at night belonged to, and the exhaustion didn’t mix well with the shock of seeing his _fiancée_ , the person he loved - still, despite everything that they might be - beaten up and unconscious.

He cradled Diamond’s hand into his own, trying to warm their cold skin by pressing a kiss to it, desperately wanting for them to wake up, to cup his face, tell him they were fine. Tell him that ladies that got into so many fights shouldn’t cry when they saw someone with a few bruises.

Diamond would be fine. They had to be. And then Juno would forget about the rest, about the strange pictures and the stories that didn’t line up, and the stupid fear in his stomach. Because he loved them, and he couldn’t stand the idea of losing them, for anything in the world.

Juno didn’t how long he'd stayed by Diamond’s side when a buzzing sound finally broke him out of his trance. It came from their coat, shoved into a bag and left at the feet of their hospital bed. He stared at it with uncomprehending eyes for an instant, then the buzz came again and he gently tucked their hand back on the bed to pull the garment out of the plastic. There was a bit of blood on it, on the collar and on the end of one of the sleeve, and one of the button was torn. Juno grimaced a bit: Diamond loved this coat.

The buzzing, when it rang again, was coming from one of the coat’s pocket and he retrieved a small comms from it. Not, Juno noted helplessly, Diamond’s usual comms, and he tried not to draw the conclusions that immediately sprang to his mind. The caller was marked as unknown, and before Juno could consider the possibility of answering it himself, the call ended. Good sense was finally reaching back for him, however, and he decided no matter how curious he was, he really didn’t want to know what was on that phone, even if he’d been able to hack into one of those things. He was just going to put it back and-

A text flashed across the small screen.

“All done” it read simply.

Juno replaced the comms in the coat’s pocket, trying not to think of everything it could mean.

 

He woke up with a hand in his hair.

“Hey.” Said Diamond, with a soft smile, and despite the cuts and bruises on their face, they looked just as marvelous as they always did.

“Diamond.” Juno shot up from his position, unwittingly dislodging the hand softly carding through his hair – he took it in his own instead – “Are you alright?”

They half shrugged with their uninjured side.

“I’ve been better, but I’ll be fine. A nurse told me my diagnosis, and I shouldn’t have any sequel.”

They were so calm, so composed, and not for the first time, Juno wondered if maybe he had somehow imagined everything. Maybe there weren’t any pictures, any files, any comms, any mafia, and maybe there was only Diamond, and Juno, and both their engagement rings: a promise for the future.  
But that seemed like a lot of maybes.

“Are _you_ okay? You look tired, Juno.”

He had to laugh a bit at that, leaning into them.

“You really shouldn’t worry about me right now. Do you- what happened?”

Diamond pressed his hand in theirs.

“Not much really: I was coming back from work, some person wanted to get my wallet, and when I wasn’t fast enough, they thought I needed a more… percuting argument.”

It seemed like a lot of punches for a simple mugging, and Diamond’s story was too smooth, too calm… Juno immediately stopped his own train of thought. Diamond was his _fiancée_. Not some criminal. It wasn’t fair to just… assume they were lying.

“Oh. Do you need me to call your job? To let them know you won’t come in?” He was overly conscious of the fact that he’d never talked to anyone from Diamond’s workplace; much less met them.

“Ah. That won’t be necessary,” They actually looked a bit sheepish. “I meant to tell you. I changed jobs. I’m a lot less dependant now.”

“What?” did that mean they were leaving the mafia? or that they’d been upgraded? And how did that translate to them being beaten up?

They massaged his hand with gentle circle of teir thumb.

“I had a… disagreement with my now former boss, so I decided to start my own thing.” _What?_ “I kept wanting to tell you but you’ve been very busy with the new job, so…”

Juno only stared at them, not daring to react one way or another.

“Hey now, no need to look so worried, darling.” They cupped his jaw with their uninjured hand. “It will be okay. Both the job, and the arm, alright? I would never put you in a difficult situation, and I’ll probably be recovered in less than a week. Besides, I have a very hot lady attending to me so I should be fine, right?”

Juno’s smile was small and unsure, but he didn’t resist when Diamond pulled him gently by the collar to kiss him, soft and tender, like they always were.

 

When a few days later, Juno was getting some clothes for Diamond to wear when they left the hospital, and found his fiancée’s usual red wallet tucked away in the corner of a drawer, he couldn’t find it in himself to be surprised.

* * *

 Diamond seemed to finally listen, and the next time Juno was brought food, it was by a woman with a tight black ponytail and a mask hiding her face. She didn’t try to speak to him, and he got no answer when he asked about his next visit to the bathroom.

It was even a bit annoying, and he wondered if it was petty revenge on Diamond’s part, but he didn’t seem to be especially more monitored that he’d been before, and he _had_ in fact, called his boyfriend, who had a lot of expertise on cells. Specifically, on getting out of them. With Peter’s help and his plasma cutter, Juno managed to construct a makeshift wrench out of one of the bed’s feet. With that, he could loosen the bolt around the door without it being too obvious. The door would still lock, but Juno would be able to detach part of the frame, and from there, to slip his plasma knife between it and the wall and cut the bolt.

The only problem in that plan was that it was hardly discreet. Once Juno would be out, he would be entirely unable to claim he was lost or any such thing with the state the door would be in.

Now that he had the comms with him, he could check the time whenever he needed it, and although the members if Diamond’s crew were probably splitting shifts between themselves to make sure their base was always protected, it wasn’t unreasonable to assume there were less of them up throughout the night.

Rita’s triangulation had ascertained that Juno was in fact contained in an old space ship that had crashed down on Mars during the first century of settlement.  
The husk had been abandoned ever since, and while there was a plan from time to time to retrieve it for research and historic purposes being spoken of, no one was very eager to work in one of the region that was the most subject to the harsh light of the Sun, and ultimately, those projects always ended up being forgotten.

That said, Diamond would have had very little difficulty accessing it if they were using a spaceship, and they’d probably found a way to access the part of the ruin that was sealed securely enough that the radiations were at a livable level for the duration of their operation. That did mean, however, that Juno couldn’t just walk out into the desert and hope for the best: he wouldn’t last more than a few day under the harsh martian rays of sunshine.

Which was why Juno’s plan wasn’t exactly to escape Diamond’s settlement. The information he’d given to Ben and Rita had been enough to foil one of Diamond’s plan, but they’d hardly given Juno a clear outline of what they intended to do to Hyperion City’s innocent – and not so innocent – citizens. Besides, they were probably smart enough to have changed those plans once the first one had resulted in one of their underlings being brought into the HCPD’s custody. Juno needed to find a way to both get any new information on Diamond’s plans to make sure all of them could be thwarted, and to find a way to deal with Diamond and their organization so that he could bring them all to the HCPD’s precinct and make sure they got properly prosecuted instead of integrated into one of the numerous Hyperion mafia family that didn’t want Juno Steel dead yet.

The fact that it didn’t seem like a very feasible project didn’t escape Juno's notice, but he figured he’d came out alive with worse odds, what with the whole Miasma thing, and the Dark Matters test nonsense, and that time when he’d managed to make a boyfriend out of one of the most researched man in the galaxy.  
Yeah, that kind of job did seem to be right up his alley.

 

As per Peter’s instructions, he left his comms in a near invisible, unused air duct. In the event that Diamond or one of their minion found him and imprisoned him again, he didn’t want them to have the opportunity to search him or the room, and find it. Hiding it somewhere else seemed like the best way to ensure he would be able to find it again should he need it. He didn’t like it, but he also didn't have much of a choice. Instead, he took with him the makeshift wooden wrench. In case of a scuffle, he would be able to down a few people before going down.

He tried not to think about hitting Diamond. Despite the years, he didn’t have any difficulty recalling the way they’d looked in a hospital bed, and even considering being the cause of their bruises made him feel ill. No matter how he looked at it, he could only be reminded of Sarah’s voice, saying she was trying, she really was, and seeing his own bruised face reflected in a mirror, blurry through his tears.  
He wouldn't, he _couldn't_ ever be like her.

He swallowed the nausea down and tried to concentrate as he left the first hallway. The corridors were all lit the same way his cell was, in a faint, yellow light, that bathed everything in a miserable glow, and created shadows in tiny corners.

Quickly enough, Juno found stairs leading up into the ship. He climbed them carefully. He could hear voices in the corridor, and he made extra sure his steps were as silent as possible. When he reached the top of the stairs, he found the door from which the sound was coming. It was quite similar to the one in his cell room. Listening intently, it seemed to Juno that the people there were playing some kind of game, probably poker or something else involving cards (he was at least sure it wasn’t Rangian street Poker: this one, he knew way too much about not to recognize it from the stakes alone).

Four of them were talking loudly enough for Juno to identify them strongly from one another, and he estimated there was probably one more with them.  
Diamond’s voice wasn’t among them. Juno didn’t know whether that was a blessing or a curse: on the one hand, it meant he probably wouldn’t hesitate as much if he needed to defend himself, on the other hand, he had no idea how the members of Diamond’s crew appreciated having to babysit a lady that had betrayed their boss once already.

The way the door opened meant that Juno had absolutely no way of knowing if anyone was watching it short of peeking in: he only had to hope the group was too drunk and too distracted to pay attention to shifting shadows in the corridor.

As silently and quickly as he could, Juno crossed the space before the door’s threshold, listening intently for any sign of change at the other side of the door. Nothing. Keeping quiet was the key, he thought. He couldn’t take his victory for granted yet. Very carefully, very silently, fervently hoping no one was going to choose this time to join their playing friends.

Finally, after a corridor that seemed like it stretched for miles, Juno reached a turn, that had the added benefit of having a shattered lamp, leaving a spot in near darkness between two mostly working light bulbs.  
Only then did he allow himself to sigh in relief. Recalculating the dimension of the ship in his mind, it was much bigger than he’d realized, with several floors. Juno’s room, it seemed, had been in the lowest level, and it probably stretched up for at least two other levels, not considering the part where the hull had been torn open. This was an actual maze, and Juno wondered how much time he’d need to fully explore it, how many opportunities that would give him to get caught, to be put back in that cell, while Diamond tried to blow up his city in the hopes of creating a better world.

Juno just had climbed the stairs to find himself on the third floor, feeling like he was finally getting a sense of where he was and how the ship was laid out, when something grabbed him from behind and he was pulled into a dark corner.

He tried to scream, but a hand slapped his mouth shut firmly, and the shout died in his throat just as he realized his mistake.

“Hello, Juno.”

Peter let him tear his hand away easily enough, and Juno twisted in his hold suddenly.

“ _Holy hell_ , Nureyev! You scared the living shit out of-”

Peter cut him off with a small peck that Juno immediately felt the need to chase down, and they somehow found themselves making out like touch-starved teenagers in the middle of Juno’s evil ex radiation bunker. Because his life wasn’t ridiculous enough already.

“What are you doing here?” he whispered when he finally managed to detach himself from his boyfriend’s lips. They were still tempting though.

Peter brushed his brow with his thumb, and Juno captured his hand in his so that it would never leave. His heart was thumping loudly in his chest and he had to keep the situation in mind not to just rest his head against Peter's shoulder and close his eyes. Only seeing him made him feel like this was finally over, like he could just let the world fall away and drift from his consciousness, from Diamond, from everything.

“The fact that you have to ask makes me question your faith in me, darling. To save you, of course.”

But it wasn't over. Not yet.

“But… how? Aren’t we in the middle of the desert?”

Peter smiled, charming as ever.

“That we are. It turns out the Kanagawas did develop a very discrete monoplace ship, that may or may not have been designed with corporate espionage in mind rather than, let’s say, durability. I’m afraid we won’t make our way back with it.”

“Are you saying _Min Kanagawa_ lent _you_ a ship?”

“Juno… Of course she didn’t.” Peter’s smile now revealed his sharp teeth, like a cat that got the cream.

“Right.”

Because his boyfriend was a criminal. Like his fiancée had been. Well, at least Juno stayed on brand.

“Are you okay, love? They didn’t hurt you, did they?” Peter’s tone had gone serious, and his eyes were soft, concerned.

Juno rolled his.

“I already told you I’m fine.”

“And you’ve never lied about that or undermined very serious emotional trauma before, have you?”

Juno sent him a look, but Peter knew his game, and his looks were admittedly much better than Juno’s anyway.

“It’s… hard” he finally admitted, averting his eyes to look at Peter’s spotless jacket (how did he manage that in the desert?) “seeing them again. But I’ll be okay.”

“Okay.” Peter dropped a kiss over Juno’s missing eye. “Tell me if you need anything.” He tipped Juno’s head to drop another feather light one on his lips. “I missed you, milady.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

The kiss was shorter than their first one, but it felt like home, even away from Hyperion City, from Juno’s shitty flat; from Ben.

“I found what seems to be that Diamond person’s room. There some notes I couldn’t make sense of, but I gather Hyperion City’s renowned PI Juno Steel will have more success than me.

Juno sighed.

“Couldn’t you have led with that?”

“I could have, but where would be the fun in that?”

Juno rolled his eye hard once again, annoyed at the unnecessary drama of it all, but didn’t resist when Peter took his hand in his.

 


	4. You were the best thing to ever happen to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waaaah this is finally over. It is soooo late where I am but technically I'm not Youhou  
> Did you guys notice Juno cries a lot in this? Just, all the time. Well, I cried almost just as much.
> 
> I'm so happy to be finally done: this fic has taken me Places! it ended up being more than 10k longer than I expected it to be, and it didn't even end like I thought it would! (I'm much happier with this ending tbh). all because I just Love Diamond Wayyy too much.
> 
> Special thanks, again, to Jacky, who beared with my teasing, and who's continuous support has encouraged me to not only finish this, but also to do it almost in time (technically, it is on time)
> 
> I hope you like that last chapter, and I love you all <3

When Diamond was officially cut out of their cast and authorized to use their arm as they pleased, they and Juno celebrated in bed, spending a whole day between tranquil bliss and frantic passion, until the night fell and Diamond wrapped themself around Juno like they hadn’t been allowed to for over a week. They burrowed their head in Juno’s skin, where his newly cut hair rested against his nape and fell asleep like that: content and calm around their fiancée, their freshly unbandaged hand holding Juno’s against his heart.

Their weight against his back was comforting, soothing, and yet Juno stared straight ahead into the night.

He’d found Diamond’s second phone in their bedroom drawer one night. Diamond had begged him to go home and get some sleep; not to worry about them. He’d lied awake, staring and the wall and contemplating the fact that had Diamond’s wounds been more serious, had they been injured in such a way they couldn’t go to the hospital for some reason, he would have been left with no explanation, no answer. He’d have a fiancée mysteriously gone to the wind, all of their personal effects intact, neatly tucked away into their flat.

If Diamond had died doing whatever it was they’d been doing, Juno wouldn’t have had any way of knowing it. And that, just as much as knowing Diamond had lied, straight to his face, about being mugged by some unidentifiable stranger, hurt like a hot poker had been put right through his chest.

They hadn’t been mugged: that, Juno was sure of. In fact, after the shock had passed and he’d been able to put the pieces together, he was pretty sure that any random mugger coming for Diamond would have had a nasty surprise. Diamond had a lean, elegant frame but Juno knew for a fact they were able to lift him up fairly easily, and, once he’d been looking for it, he could clearly tell that they knew how to handle themself in a fight.

And as if he’d needed more evidence, the news broadcast all over Hyperion city had given him more than enough insight. A warehouse had blown up in Old Town. It wasn’t hard to guess why, had commented the reporter, considering the amount of powder and chemical substances found on sight.

It had been a drug refinery, and among the five bodies the HCPD had been able to identify the two presumed leaders of the Neptunian mafia, conveniently a few meters away from one another. It might even have seemed unrelated, expect somehow, the investigateur at the scene had found a way to incriminate Benten’s colleague, Trevor Blake, for having taken bribes and facilitating some of the mafia’s operations. The very same Trevor Blake that had send numerous mails printed out in Diamond's files.

A new job: that had been what Diamond had said, hadn't they?  
Juno had thought a bit hysterically that a few bodies were probably how you "changed job" within the mafia.

Was that what they'd been doing? Trying to come to an arrangement to leave the mafia and getting hurt in the process, accidentally setting fire to the chemicals as they left? Or had they just come in to set the whole building up in flames, and gotten caught by a thug? Shot two living breathing persons to tie loose ends? There was no doubt that what those gangster were doing was wrong, and had Juno been in front of them at the time, could he really pretend he wouldn’t have pulled the trigger? But this wasn’t how you did things. It shouldn’t be how you did things.

And all the same, if anyone had given Diamond more than a sprained wrist and a few bruises, Juno would have hunted them down and given back every hurt, with interest, no matter the circumstances, without hesitation.

But would he have done it, if Diamond had been truthful to him from the beginning? Did he really knew _anything_ about them? Or were they just a fallacy, some pretty lie that could be waved in front of his face when he didn’t know where were ups and downs anymore? Could he really love Diamond if he didn’t know who they were?

When Juno finally fell asleep, it was accompanied by the kind of dreams he’d thought had left him a long time ago.

  
_Their weight against his back was comforting, soothing, and yet Juno stared straight ahead into the night._

* * *

 

Peter had indeed found Diamond’s command post, a large room with a makeshift metal panel blocking out part of the martian light coming from the old ship windows. Some of them had remained airtight enough they didn’t need to be covered and from them, Juno could see the Martian desert, softly glowing like like a see of deadly sand under the feeble light of Phobos.

The files were easy enough to find, but they were fragment of plans, thoughts and redirections, and piecing them together took almost a whole hour, until they could determine where and when Diamond had planned to attack.

As it turned out, they’d placed several bombs in a handful of locations, hoping to target Pilot Pereyra, the Kanagawas, and several other mafia families including the Jupiterian and Terrian mafias, as well as the campaign office and home of Ramses O’Flaherty and both Old Town and Central Hyperion’s police stations.  
By Diamond’s own count, the bombs themselves would harm more people than it would kill, but it would give his faction the time to swipe in, tie some people up, finish some other and declare Hyperion City under their control until they could put into power Omar Khan, some benefactors Juno had heard about, including one of which was currently being held in one of the private mafia jails. They’d even given Benzaiten a role as a “Republic Adviser”. Probably during a moment of clarity, they hadn’t bothered to give Juno any place in that new society, although he supposed “being the happy wife of Diamond Diaz” wouldn’t have looked official enough on paper.

Juno had to take a minute once he’d pieced it all together. He couldn’t conciliate this full-blown terrorist attack to the person he’d loved to the point of accepting to marry them. He’d had crazy - sometimes even violent - exes, yes, but they’d never been as important to him as Diamond had been: as precious. And it turned out they’d advised a plan to kill over a hundred of people in the name of peace, concord, and happiness.

Peter was silent besides him, holding his hand tight, and he knew they were both thinking of another person, another dreamer, who’d been ready to sacrifice an entire city to save a planet. Would have Mag been a hero had he managed to do it? Would have the victims been considered mere collateral damage? Necessary consequences?  
The only thing Juno knew for sure was that they would all be dead. There would have been no liberty, no reprieve for them, no matter how happy the general populace would have been because of their sacrifice.

Hyperion City without crimes, without violence, without mafias, without corruption sounded like a dream, but was it worth the crimes one had to do to get there?

Peter was the first one to recover. He didn’t let go of Juno’s hand to call Rita and run her through the locations of each and every bomb. When he hang up, silence fell upon both of them.

“I don’t get it.” Juno finally said. He felt hollow, like somehow had emptied out part of him, made his past meaningless, false, somehow.

Peter didn’t say anything, only pressed his hand in his and offered a sympathetic grimace.

“We should go… somewhere, before they find us.”

Peter nodded. He got up first, and Juno let him help him to his feet. His legs were heavy like he'd pumped lead in them.

“Well. I guess this was bound to happen at some point.”

They both turned at the same time, Peter reaching for his knives and Juno finding only air when he tried to match him with his absent blaster.

Diamond held their hands up: their smile sad and their stance as unthreatening as possible.

“I suppose it is safe to assume the HCPD is on its way?”

The glance they threw at Juno wasn’t pointed in any way, but even then, it felt like his throat was closing on hot coal.

This time, though, Diamond wouldn’t escape with a kiss and a wave.

“It is. Unless you prefer to be dealt with right now, since the justice system doesn’t work, isn’t that right?”

Peter sent him a worried glance, that he ignored.

“That wouldn’t be entirely unfair, would it?” Juno had never found out how their eyes could hold him in place so efficiently. It reached for something deep in him, something he’d thought had been destroyed, washed away, and softly embraced it, making Juno’s whole body shiver and lock up, worried of what he might do if he let any of it leak out; worried a single drop would become an unstoppable torrent, “I’ll accept whatever judgment you think I deserve, Juno. But if anyone kills me, I’d prefer it to be our friend Mr Nureyev.”

Peter’s eyes snapped back to them.

“How do you know that name?”

Diamond shrugged, but their eyes were cold when they answered.

“It took me a fair amount of time, but I finally managed to connect the picture of Juno’s companion to a teenage rebel from Brahma. I knew of you before, of course, which did help. I even admired you, but then you let your mistakes hurt Juno. Mistakes you only made because you let your greed overcome your reason. You’ve become nothing but a thief without honor.”

Peter’s jaw squared, but he didn’t say anything, which was quite out of character.

“What the hell are you talking about? Nureyev never hurt me.”

“Maybe not directly, but he’s still responsible for you being hunted down by his crazy employer, for both of you being sequestrated in an ancient tomb for over two weeks, and for you losing your eye.”

“That’s not-”

“They’re right, Juno.”

“What? Why are you agreeing with them?”

“I...”

Juno put his hand up.

“No. You know what? I’m not doing this. Did you both lie to me and hid from me things that ended up hurting me? _Yes_.” That brought a slight grimace on both of their face, Diamond looking especially pained. “And am I a grown adult that makes his own choice and dates who he wants? _Also_ _yes_. This is _clearly_ not what we need to be discussing right now.”

He pointed to Diamond: a sudden, accusing flick of his finger.

“This is over, and I don’t want to hurt you. Stand down.”

Diamond looked at him, not as they used to, but as the criminal and tactician they were. It was a cold, calculating glare, and it froze Juno's heart as a seeping blizzard. But he didn't budge, didn't offer any kind of vulnerability. It didn't matter, not anymore.

“Alright.”

They looked at each other, and it felt like something was passing between them in a language Juno had forgotten.

It didn't matter. It was all over.

“Thank you.”

He was about to ask they tell their squad to surrender as well, when Peter’s comms rang, quite loudly in the silence. He and Juno exchanged a glance.

“Hello?”

For once, it seemed Rita didn’t feel like screaming down the line, because Juno could barely hear her intonations from where he was.

“Very well,” said Peter before holding out the comms towards Juno. “She wants to speak to you.”

A bit surprised, Juno took it, and threw an uncertain look over his former fiancée.

“I’ll take care of them.”

Juno nodded, and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him. He wasn’t too worried. Diamond might be good enough to down one or two thugs, but there was little chance they could overpower Peter Nureyev in a fight.

“What is it, Rita?”

“Weeeeell…”

* * *

 “… so anyway, we got married and the baby’s fine now, we’ve decided to keep it: her name’s Rita because Rita wouldn’t stop bothering me about being her godmother.”

“Sounds nice,” Juno mumbled. He’d been staring at his ring for over five minutes, he knew, but he couldn't seem to stop.

“Juno.”

Benzaiten’s tone had changed and that finally caught enough of Juno’s attention that he could tear his eyes away from the glint of his promise to Diamond.

“Um?”

“You haven’t been listening to anything I said, have you?”

Benten’s tone was light, but Juno didn’t really have the energy to respond in kind.

“Oh. Sorry.”

He must have sounded about as exhausted as he felt, because his brother's smile morphed into something approaching concern.

“Jay, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m… fine.” The lie felt bitter in his mouth. He didn’t want to be lying to Benten. How had this veered so fast from dream to nightmare? “Do you… do you know Diamond’s cousin? They told me she works in the precinct.”

Benten raised a eyebrow.

“A bit? She’s an administrator so we don’t cross path that much. Why? They forgot to send her an invitation to your wedding?”

Right. The wedding. In less than a month. The tight ball of anxiety in Juno’s chess seemed to gain mass once again.

“Is she… does she have access to a lot of the files? If she’s working administration, it means she handles the evidences, right?”

“I guess? Why are you…” Benten frowned suddenly. “Are you investigating Blake’s suspension?”

Juno shrugged, trying to look collected, but Benzaiten knew him much too well for that.

“Juno, you’re not supposed to… do that.” Halfway into his sentence, Benten seemed to realize something. “Wait. What does it have to do with Avril? Does Diamond know anything?”

Juno tried to respond that Diamond didn’t have anything to do with it, that he’d just been wondering about it, but his breath hitched in his throat. He had to say something to Benzaiten, to reassure him nothing was wrong, he was fine, Diamond was fine, they were both fine. It felt harder and harder to breathe, air escaping Juno despite all his effort.

“Oh shit,” Benten said, when his brother folded in on himself, heaving useless breaths. “Okay, come on, just breathe, alright? Breath with me. Can you do that for me?”

He coaxed Juno through counting his breaths, through getting air back into his lungs, until he could finally straighten up, his face soaked in angry tears and his heart in pieces.

“Something happened with Diamond?” Benzaiten asked after giving Juno a tissue to wipe his face with.

Apparently trying to muffle a sob into the tissue as a fresh batch of tears welled up in his eyes was enough response for him, because he gently put an arm around Juno, letting him sob wetly for a few minutes.

“Did they do something to you?”

Juno shook his head.

“Did _you_ do something?”

He could only repeat the gesture.

“Okay, well, you’re gonna have to tell me ‘cause I’m out of ideas, super Steel.”

So Juno did. He dried his eyes and took some other breaths to make sure he could, and he told Benzaiten everything: the pictures, the hospital, the comms, the restless nights wondering how? wondering why? wondering, now what?

“I love them,” he said, his eyes cast down so Benzaiten couldn’t see the new tears trailing down his face. “I don’t know what to do. What if" - he needed to breathe, to breathe - "what if they did kill those people? I can’t"- breathe, just breathe - "but I still _love_ them.”

Benzaiten hold on him was tight, but the hand he’d left in his lap was trembling.

“I’m sorry, Juno. I don’t- I don’t know…”

Juno didn’t come back to his and Diamond’s place that night.

* * *

 Peter Nureyev considered Diamond before him; Juno’s ex. They’d seemed docile in front of Juno, but it wasn’t impossible it was a face they reserved for him and him alone. He couldn’t be sure they would comply now that he was out of the room.

He would have almost felt bad for them had they not kidnapped Juno: it wasn’t hard to see they still loved him, achingly, impossibly so, even after what had to be at least several years. Peter didn’t even have to try and decipher, he knew he had the exact same look on his face that they had whenever they were looking at the lady.  
Here they were, two criminals helplessly in love with the same, righteous, angry, sad, perfect lady.

It was hard not to feel a twinge of jealousy. They had held Juno when Peter couldn’t even begin to imagine him, had been a stable, real presence in his life where Peter could only be the ghost of a man: a thief without a name. They’d even been engaged, and although Juno didn’t wear either anymore, Peter knew he still held onto his ring and his dress.

Had Diamond been the one to teach Juno that trust was the tool of a dead man? If so Peter really some strong words to exchange with them.

“Should we get on with it?” They had an inscrutable face as they said this, their eyes intent on Peter. He couldn’t deny they were extremely attractive: it wasn’t hard to see what had reeled Juno in when they’d first met.

“Sure.”

Slowly, Diamond reached into their pocket to get out a comms, and made their call, to who Peter assumed was their second, or whatever was closest to it. He didn’t protest when they ordered the person at the other end of the line to pack their luggage and be gone before the HCPD could catch them. Peter was a lot of thing, surely, but he wasn’t about to sell out anyone he wasn’t sure absolutely deserved it unless they endangered him or Juno. From what he’d gathered, they were closer to mercenaries than extremists: they wouldn’t come after them unless they were given a good reason to. And he doubted there was much loyalty involved in Diamond's operation.

“This isn’t some kind of code to tell them to come deliver you, is it?” Asked Peter, belatedly. “I don’t think you’d want them to hurt Juno. Or am I wrong?”

“Of course not.” Diamond’s composure broke and they gave him a withering glare. “I would never hurt Juno!”

Peter felt no pity for them as he said:

“You already did.”

Diamond huffed, but they averted their eyes.

“I don't need _you_ to tell me that.”

Peter stayed silent for a moment.

“He’s not perfect.” He finally said. “He’s beautiful and he’s brilliant and he never backs down, but he’s not perfect.”

Diamond looked at him expectantly. Peter shrugged, unsure of what to say. That Juno understood being beaten down? being broken? Diamond probably knew that already. It was easy to think of Juno as his namesake, a powerful, unatteignable goddess, but they'd both had him in their arm, gripping tigly in an effort not to break.

Silence fell again.

“Why did you do this?” Peter finally let loose the question that had been burning his tongue the whole time. “You’ve kept enough tabs on him to know my name, you can't have expected him to agree to whatever you were doing.”

Diamond looked away, out the window. Phobos was disappearing behind the horizon up north.

“I don’t know.” They said softly. “I’d told myself I wanted him to be happy, and if that meant leaving him, then so be it. But one doesn’t forget Juno Steel, do they?”

 _No. They don’t_. Peter thought. He wasn’t sure he would have been able to leave Juno alone, had he asked him to.

“I know you must think I’m both an idiot and a prick, but please take care of him for me.”

Peter leveled an eyebrow at them.

“I will. But it won’t be for you.”

That brought a faint smile on Diamond’s face.

Juno came through the door. He looked tired, concerned, and his eye immediately rested on Diamond.

“Is everything okay?”

A piercing eye found his.

“The bombs weren’t set to explode. They would have needed a close range signal to go off, and those weren’t tuned to any sequence yet.”

Both of them turned towards Diamond, whose expression hadn’t changed. They didn’t say anything, and Juno finally prompted them. There was an edge to his voice, a strain like a string someone would have pulled too much on.

“Why didn’t you arm them? There were at least ten of them, and none of them were armed. There was no way they were going to go off.”

Diamond shrugged silently, their eyes unwavering from Juno’s.

“You’ve been here for at least two weeks, and you set in place all those bombs, but you never made any move." Peter sent a worried glance his way, Juno's hand were shaking, the tight grip he had on his comms giving his skin a sickly, pale hue. "You could have blown _half_ of Hyperion City with the charge you had, and what, you just did _nothing_? I thought you wanted “to clean Hyperion City”? Or was that just to get my attention?”

“I did intend to.” finally said Diamond, so soft Peter almost didn’t catch it, and Juno seemed to be shaken by a full-body shiver as the words hit him. “The plan was, to make sure you didn’t get involved, so that you could just enjoy a new Hyperion City without having to feel like you’d failed to protect the victims somehow.” They had a short laugh. “I should have realized seeing you again was bound to distract me from my original goal."

They looked and sounded unwaveringly calm, like a deep, calm lake without any ripple, but Peter could tell something was breaking in them as they looked at Juno, something chipped away like anyone coming to the realization they had truly lost what was most precious to them. The tremor in their voice was controlled, almost impossible to hear, but it was only a facade, a front Peter Nureyev had no trouble piercing through.

"I thought I could do right by you. But in the end, I managed forgot just how...  _incredible_ you are. I had a decision to make, but I just couldn’t stand the idea of you truly hating me.”

Juno stayed frozen for several seconds, looking about ready to either burst into tears or hit them. When he spoke, it was barely audible, a tortured, strangled whisper.

“You’re an idiot.”

He didn’t look at either of them as he stormed back out. And the door slammed behind him

Peter spared a glance for Diamond. They had a distant, painful smile on their face, their eyes firmly shut against the wolrd.

He followed after Juno.

* * *

 

Juno paced, trying not to give in the urge to scream. Diamond always had a way of making confusing, violent feelings rise in him, but this was finally getting too much. He just wanted to forget about all this, to go to bed and hide under the cover, pretend like Juno Steel was nothing more than the husk of a person, without feelings, without memories, without love, without pain.

“Juno? Are you okay?”

Peter stood a few feet away, looking as Juno made half a turn, as if the movement of his legs could distract him from the inevitable storm inside his head.

“I just- What do we do now?”

Peter was a reassuring presence at least, something to lean on. Maybe if Juno hid his face well enough the world would pass him by and he wouldn’t have to deal with the ridiculousness that had become his whole life.

“I mean, I’m not even sure what we _can_ do. This is so _stupid_.”

Peter passed a hand through his hair, and Juno tried to appreciate it, to melt into his embrace, and forget about the rest, but he felt jittery and nervous, a bubble of panic slowly growing in his torso, threatening to explode inside of him in a messy, bloody burst of pain. Why did Diamond have to go mess it all up? Why had they come back? Only to prob at old wounds, to remind Juno that his world was a fragile thing, easy to shatter.

It wasn't fair, but then again, Juno had never known how to be fair, had he?

“I’m not sure there is a right thing to do, Juno. I think it comes down to what you want.”

Juno snorted into his chest.

“What is it with beautiful people and letting me do what I want? Everybody should know that’s a terrible idea.”

Peter gently coaxed him to face him.

“I’m not complaining about the terrible choices you made when it comes to me.”

Juno accepted his kiss with a rueful smile. The arms around him were a comforting cocoon around him, and it helped Juno concentrate when all he wanted to do was to ignore the situation and walk, walk far away, into the desert, until the light stopped touching him, until the world finally fell silent and he could finally _think_.  
Or better yet, forget.

But Peter was warm, and his hands at Juno’s sides traced mindless patterns as he let him try to figure this out, reminding him that he didn’t really want that, didn’t really want to give up what he’d finally had the courage to take for himself.

“I don’t want the HCPD to get them. Maybe they deserve it, but-” _I can’t imagine them being behind bars, being locked away forever_ “I don’t want to. I don’t  _know_ why: I don’t even want to _see_ them. But...”

“It’s okay, Juno. You don’t have to justify yourself.” Peter passed a hand over his back, comforting, calming. “Although I’ll admit I’m a bit jealous. You didn’t have any qualms about putting _me_ in jail.” It was said with humor and Juno didn’t feel too bad to huff a laugh.

“I do learn from my errors.”

He mulled it over once again, trying to smooth the rough edges, hoping that for once he wouldn’t come to regret his decision.

“So we tell the HCPD the perp escaped? Then what?”

“I believe that plan would mean telling them to leave and not be back again.”

The first time Diamond had left, it had punctured Juno’s heart like a sad party balloon. It had felt like something he would never get up from, like life had lost its colours.

But it would be different this time. Juno was different, and he had Peter with him. Diamond wasn’t leaving him, Juno was making them leave.

It didn’t really matter anyway. Diamond couldn’t stay.

“Juno?”

“Yeah, okay. Let’s call Rita.”

 

“ _BOSS!_ ” was Rita's first word.

“Hey, Rita.”

“I _MISSED_ YOU!”

“We talked five minutes ago.”

“What has that got to do with anything?!”

Juno couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Fuck, he was so impatient to be home.

“Alright. Listen, I need you to tell the HCPD our perp got away. I managed to get out of my cell but when I did, no one was there. I don’t know how they left, but I think they mentioned the Orion Belt at some point so maybe that’s where they went.”

Peter was nodding along the story, but there was a uncharacteristic silence from Rita’s end.

“Rita?”

“The HCPD isn’t looking for Mix Diamond, boss.”

Juno glanced towards Peter, who was mirroring his confused frown.

“What do you mean? They managed to stick bombs in half the buildings of the city.”

“Mix Pereyra said not to.”

“What?”

“They said there was no point in making the population panic and that anyone talking would be said to be the bomber and sentenced to death. It was very dramatic, but not very fun, like- oh _oh_ Boss, you missed the last episode of _Sandy in the pit of Doom,_ and in it-”

“They’re trying to cover it up.” Juno felt nauseous, realizing he knew immediately what Pereyra’s goal was. “It’s gonna be election time in a few weeks, and a scandal like that would hurt their chance.”

“ _Mistah_   _Steel_ _!_ Are you _listening_?”

“Thanks, Rita, I’ll call back later.”

“But-“

Her voice cut off when Juno hung up. He felt exhausted. Hyperion City could have blown up overnight, the bombs placed by Diamond making hundreds of victims, and Pereyra would rather to cover it all up rather than damage their chance at staying five more years on the mayoral throne. And why wouldn’t they? It’s not like anybody was stopping them.

Had Diamond been right? Did Hyperion City really need a monster to cut off its cancerous growths before it could start to get better? Juno let himself close his eyes an instant, wondering what would have been if Diamond’s plan had worked. If he’d stayed put, happy to be kept away while carnage ran through the city? Would have the future seem brighter if he’d let Hyperion City’s domes fill with dark smoke and death?

“Hey. Peter.” From the corner of his eyes, he could the thief level an eyebrow at him upon hearing his rarely used first name. Juno couldn’t look back, his eye trained on the hand he’d captured in his. “Do you ever regret not letting Mag kill all those people?”

Peter went very still, before making a visible effort to relax once again. Juno didn’t push him, didn’t say anything, letting him find his voice again, trying to soothe him with the caress of his thumb. Hell knew he wouldn’t have been able to answer that question himself.

“I do,” he finally said, quietly enough that Juno could barely hear him, “because it means Mag is dead and some people on Brahma are still being oppressed by an evil governmental machine.” He pressed Juno’s hand with his. “And I don’t, because those people didn’t deserve to die, and they went on to live a life I could only dream of.”

“I did what I did, and now I have to live with it. As far as I know, there isn’t any other answer. I’m sorry, Juno.”

Juno let out a long breath, nodding silently. He hadn't really expected to get an answer, an escape, but this was another closed door.

“I’m sorry, I just... That probably wasn’t fair to ask you that.”

“It’s okay, Juno. _You_ made it okay.”

“I just… I can’t help but feel like they might be right, you know? I mean, Pereyra and the Kanagawas… they did kill people! Lots of them. And they’ll kill people again. And, if anyone killed them or found a way for them to stop, I’d be fine with it! I certainly didn’t cry when _Croesus_ died. But I… I…”

He remembered silky red hair on a pillow, scars on pale skin, cold hands around him, dates in shady little restaurants that looked much brighter as soon as Diamond entered them, a soft smile that made him flush and warm from the inside.

“I didn’t want it to be _them_.”

Sudden understanding dawned on Peter’s face.

“Oh, _Juno_.”

He pulled him in his arms again.

“I’m _sorry_.”

“Don’t be. Being betrayed by someone you love... I know how much it hurts”

Juno hid his face in his throat, trying to breath, trying not to cry again.

“I used to think,” he said, hearing the strain in his own words, “that I’d made it. It was scary but, I thought that was it. I’d be fine.”

“But then… they left. And I wasn’t.”

Peter gripped him tight, one hand around him, one hand in his hair, and Juno clung on to him until it felt like he didn’t host a tornado inside of him anymore.

“I’ll never leave you, Juno. I love you.”

Juno didn’t know how to trust him, didn't know how to trust anything right then, but he wanted to. He'd always wanted to.

When Juno finally detached himself from Peter, he let out a heavy sigh, trying to recollect himself. Diamond would probably see right through it anyway, but it was worth a try, if only to save his dignity.

“Okay. We still don’t know what we’re going to do with Diamond.”

“Actually,” Peter had a faint smile on his face, the one that made him look like a satisfied fox, “I might have an idea.”

* * *

 “Are you ready, darling?”

“Yeah… I’m… yeah.”

Diamond took his hand, a soft smile on their face.

“You look stunning, Juno.”

Juno offered a small smile of his own. _No_ , you _look stunning_ , he wanted to say, not knowing whether it would come out accusatory or charming. It felt like an immense rift had opened up in his chest, drowning his thoughts out and leaving place to a cascade of rushing feelings.

He accepted Diamond’s light kiss with a readiness akin to desperation, trying not to think of the thrum of last times, last chances resonating in his brain in a muffled, violent melody.

“Shall we?”

Juno couldn’t believe he had to throw all of this away.

“Sure.”

Their dinner started in near silence, Juno tight lipped, with words fighting themselves in the hollow of his throat and Diamond staring gently at him, trying not to look too concerned. They’d told Juno, once, that he had a terrible poker face. Did they know what he was about to do to them, to their relationship? Did they know he couldn’t look at them without wondering if their beautiful, incredible face was all just a lie, belonging to the conman that was set on destroying Juno’s life.

He hadn’t fled Diamond’s attention. He couldn’t. He felt like a plant gulping down the last rays of a dying sun, and Diamond’s hands, Diamond’s lips, their voice, their kind smile had become Juno’s sole nutriment before what he knew would be a long walk into the desert.  
He didn’t know how, or why, but he still loved them, and yet, he had to cut the tree that was giving him shade. The notion of it set his teeth on edge and he couldn’t get out any words for the whole meal, spent in tense silence.

When Diamond took his hand in theirs, Juno almost jumped in surprise. Diamond didn’t take notice of it, and caressed Juno’s hand gently, their thumb passing over his ring, before they spoke.

“Juno… I need to tell you something.”

Their tone was sure, and steady, but they took a pause after those first words, and Juno looked at them like he hadn’t dared to since the beginning of their evenings. They were done up perfectly, as usual, their nails done the same brilliant red as their hair and the make up soft and inviting, but underneath it all, they looked tired and ragged, and in their eyes, Juno felt like he recognized some of his own desperation.

“I’ve been… putting it off, I’ll admit. But there’s something… you need to know.”

What.

What?

Juno tried to decipher them, but they were looking at their joined hands, not at him, and their face was a blank mask. Juno could draw nothing from it, and suddenly, Juno was struck by the idea that Diamond, for all the time they had spent together, even for the fact that they _lived_ together, was still a mystery to him.  
Diamond was a _stranger_ to him.  
The last threads of what Juno had been trying to hang on to for the last weeks finally snapped, and it felt as though someone had stabbed him.

“I know.” He said, interrupting whatever Diamond had been saying.

“I… Juno?”

“I know.” Juno took a breath. “I know you’ve been lying to me about… about everything.” He wouldn’t cry, not again. He couldn’t.

“Not everything, Juno.” Juno opened his mouth. “No. Please, _listen_ to me.” And there was still enough in Juno’s love for them that he did. “I _love_ you, Juno. I _love you_ and nothing will change that. I need… I need you to know that.”

_Can I trust you? Is that what you’re asking? That I trust you again?_

Juno said nothing, and Diamond squeezed his hand. He was surprised to see they were still gripping it, but he couldn’t pull away.

“I always meant to tell you about my other… activities. They’re not necessarily the most charming thing about me, but I never meant to hide it from you. I was supposed to tell you everything earlier, of course, but _Juno_ , it has been hard for me to accept letting you go.” At this they offered him a sad smile, something soft and fragile that had Juno, almost inconsciously, squeeze their hand in an automatic comforting gesture. “And I know you might want to, after all of this. But… if you’ll still have me… I promise I’d make sure you don’t have to do, to know anything about any of what I do. Juno I… I’d do anything for you.”

Juno’s bleeding heart jumped at that, and somehow, he had no problem believing Diamond just then.

“So what, you want me to help you… murder people?”

Diamond frowned, but their only squeezed Juno’s hand again, as if only responding to his talking. Their hold on him was still desperatly gentle.

“You know that’s not what this is.”

Juno finally pulled his hand away from Diamond, his other hand coming to cradle his flesh, still burning from his… - was Diamond still his fiancée? Were they still anything but two strangers trying desperatly to save each other from mounting waters? – from Diamond’s touch. His fingers touched the ring there, and a flash of something… fear? pain? Passed in Diamond’s eyes.

“I don’t! I don’t think I know anything! I… You lied to me!”

Diamond’s beautiful face fell at this, and Juno desperatly wanted to apologize, to fix this somehow. It didn’t seem like it was still possible though.

“I’m sorry.”

Diamond took another breath, and passed their hand in their hair. Juno’s heart missed a bit at the gesture, the witness of a familiarity that now felt like it was million of years away from them.

“What I’m doing… I’m trying to make things right.”

“That’s not how you make things right.”

Diamond threw him a glance, and their smile was sad and tired.

“No. It isn’t. But sometimes you don’t have a choice.”

Juno had nothing to say to that.

“I don’t think I can do that.”

Diamond’s intake of breath sounded about as painful as Juno felt, and when they quickly wiped their eyes, Juno acted as if he hadn’t seen the notion.

“Did I ever tell you when I fell in love with you?”

How many times could a heart break before it stopped hurting all together? Juno wished Diamond had been a monster, a truly evil devil whose destroyed showed nothing but contempt and deception. Nothing but this slow grind that cut his breath slowly, as if trying to assure him that this time, he wouldn’t get back up from this. He wanted Diamond to stop, to let him leave and never come back, but he knew he couldn’t. He could only watch and listen as he once again destroyed his own life.

“When you told me about that time you defended your coworker against a creepy customer. I’d just met you and you were so angry, so… righteous. You couldn’t stand the idea of life not being fair, not being right, and you never settle for anything less… I wish you knew how beautiful it makes you.”

It destroyed my life, wanted to say Juno.

“I told Ben” he finally blurted out, unable to look into Diamond’s tender eyes anymore. “I think he told the HCPD, too. They’ll try to arrest you.”

Diamond didn’t look surprised, just sad.

“Did you know?”

They sighed, their usual smile faint and tired.

“I… suspected.”

They got up, their eyes never leaving Juno, as if they were committing him to memory. Juno tried to follow the movement, to tell them… to do something, but he didn’t know what.

“Diamond, I…”

“Shhh”

Their fingers on his lips were close, as they always were.

“It’s okay. I don’t blame you.”

Ever so slowly, as if in a dream, Diamond bent down to kiss him. Their lips were cool, tender against his own in a last, aching goodbye, and Juno could feel silk-like hair cascading around him, softly stroking his face in a last caress.

“I love you, Juno Steel.” Murmured Diamond. “I will always love you.”

_Don’t leave._

“I hope you’ll remember just how incredible you are.”

_Don’t leave me._

A last press of those soft lips against his, and then just like that, Diamond was gone.

Juno fell back onto his chair, and finally let himself cry.

* * *

 

They took Diamond’s ship to get back. All of their underlings that hadn’t already found a way to leave the ruins went with them.One of them was the woman that had brought food to Juno along with Diamond, and she looked at him with a resigned air before sending a weary look Diamond’s way.

“I told you it was a stupid plan.”

They’d only shrugged, a helpless smile on their face. Juno observed the whole exchange with the odd feeling of witnessing something supernatural. He’d never really seen Diamond outside of their relationship, even back then, and witnessing proof of an entire life that barely held trace of him felt endlessly strange.

But he didn’t have to see too much of it. During the two hours it took Peter to travel back to Hyperion City – Juno had never been more than a disaster when it came to flying and he didn’t trust Diamond enough to give him the commands – their subordinates mostly stayed in the bunk area, and the few time Juno wandered near the room, he could only hear them discuss in a rapid dialect faintly reminiscent of Neptunian: nothing he would understand.

Diamond stayed in the extended cockpit,in clear sight of both Juno and Peter. None of them thought they’d try anything, but Juno could do with a little assurance. They were looking out the dark windshield, lost in thought in the desert plains of Mars, the landscape a blur even with the reduced speed of the airship mode.

Juno remembered a time when he could decipher their expressions, when he could tell what was a mask of charm, of perfection, and what they didn’t dare to ask plainly for. Diamond could pretend all they wanted that everything could be the same, they’d changed in all those years, just as much as Juno had. Their mask of perfection was chipped, fractured, and their reactions could be unbridled, unaltered by their need to be perfect, to be strong and unmovable.

Juno had used to think he use their frame to rest, to consolidate himself upon. Diamond had seemed like a rock in his tempest, like they could weather through any storm. But no matter how good they were at pretending Diamond had been, nobody was that strong, nobody was that perfect. Had Juno laid too much on them, Relayed on them so much they hadn’t been able to be anything but perfect?

Juno blinked, brought back to reality and to Diamond’s piercing eyes, looking right back at him.

“What?”

“You’ve been looking at me for quite some time. Is there something you’d like to tell me?”

They looked politely inquisitive, but their hands were joined on their lap and Juno could see the strain in them. They’d been this way ever since Juno had came back in their room to announce what he wanted them to do. It looked like resignation.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Peter threw a rapid glance his way, but Juno ignored him. Diamond seemed just as surprised as he was.

“You said it yourself. I don’t have much of a choice.” They looked down at their hands. “Besides, I think maybe it’s time I stop bothering you.”

“Yes, but…” It was Juno’s turn to look at Peter, tense in his seat. “well, it isn’t easy being a galaxy wide researched criminal.”

“I’ll be fine.” They sighed, and a fond kind of smile returned to their lips. “You’re not responsible for my actions, Juno: don’t feel bad because I will finally face their consequences.”

Juno looked at them, exasperated.

“I know that. I’m worried for you, you idiot.”

Something passed on their face.

“I thought you didn’t want to see me again.”

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t mean I want you to die.”

Their eyes searched his, looking for something Juno wasn’t sure he had to offer.

“We’re over Hyperion City,” suddenly announced Peter, looking straight ahead.

“Well,” Diamond said, unstrapping themself and getting up, “it’s nearly my time to shine, as they say.”

They looked through the ship’s windshield, down at the mayoral house they were rapidly approaching.

“Don’t worry, Juno. I know what I’m doing.”

Diamond talked to their underlings themself, explaining them the decision they’d come up with – they didn’t mention Juno and Peter’s input – and offering them a last choice, help them, and become high priority fugitives, or stay uninvolved and be dropped off wherever they wanted.

Most of the group, as far as Juno understood it, were former mercenaries, following Diamond out of habit rather than conviction, and couldn’t afford to commit to such a cause. The woman, that had talked to them earlier, and who seemed to be taking the role of their second, decided to go with them, along with an old woman and a kid that looked almost as young as Juno had been when he’d first met Diamond.

Juno wondered if this was the family Diamond had made for themself when after leaving him, or if some of them had been with them even then. It was reassuring, on some level. They’d always seemed to be a single unit, a lone point in the universe, and it was good to know they wouldn’t be alone for what was to come.

Rita had helped secure the landing roof of the mayoral house, making sure the security doors couldn’t open from the inside, that no one could interrupt them. It wouldn’t be too long until they found another solution, Juno knew, so they only had so much time for Diamond to play their part.

The ship communicator was old but it worked well, and with Rita’s help, they could use Pereyra’s mayoral channel and broadcast to the whole city.

Soon enough, everything was set up and the blinking light of the feed started blinking

“Hello Hyperion City,” They flashed every household on Mars with that charming smile of theirs, “my name is Diamond Diaz, and yesterday, I could have blown up half of your city.”

Their speech couldn’t have lasted more than ten minutes, but as Juno watched, his hand gripping Peter’s like a lifeline, it felt like it had been going on for hours.

They explained how they’d placed the bombs, how it had been almost made easy by the lack of attention of Hyperion City cops and security officers from various establishment, too used to look the other way to stop them from almost blowing the city up. They talked about why they’d done it, about how they’d watched the city for years, only to see crimes and bribery, corruption and lies. About how they had evidence of actual murders committed or ordered by most of the people in places of power in Hyperion City.

Finally, they admitted to their error, explained they’d realized “cleaning” the city wouldn’t help it, only the citizen could do it. Now that they had all the evidence they needed, it would be their choice to make the right move, to make Hyperion City better. It was cheesy, but it pushed all the right buttons: hopefully their beautiful face and soft voice would encourage th citizens to take some kind of action.

“I’ve loved this city with all my heart before - ” Their eyes met Juno’s”, and its corruption has hurt me and those I loved. Please, Hyperion City, make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else.”

They made a discreet move with their hand, and Peter killed the feed.

And just like that, it was over.

Time seemed to want to catch up to the eternity it had given Diamond, and everything after that happened way too fast for Juno to properly process it. Before Peyrera’s security managed to break down the door, they were up in the air once again, Peter directing Diamond’s second to a secure location she could drop Juno and him at.

Juno stayed frozen, seeing his entire past rush before his eyes. He’d waited so long for an answer, for an explanation, for some measure of closure, and it was happening so fast right then it felt like maybe he wouldn’t even have the chance to even feel it. He should have been relieved this was over, he should have been grateful Diamond was willing to leave, to drop the act, and to become a researched criminal for a last ditch attempt at saving Hyperion City, saving the city that had killed Juno’s mother, Juno’s childhood, and done the same for all the old town kids.  
Instead he felt like an old wound in his chest was opening again, the stitches slowly coming apart with every panicked thoughts, with every cut off breaths.

Diamond was leaving him. Again. Somehow, his heart didn’t seem to care that this was their only solution, that Juno didn’t actually want them back into his life, that he loved one Peter Nureyev, and not the ex that had contributed to his life unraveling.

“Juno?”

He turned around. Diamond was standing there, a brown envelope, full to the brim, in their hands.

“There’s one last thing I want to talk to you about. I won’t be long.”

They gave him the envelope, closing their hand around his before he could open it.

“You asked me what I had on Ramses O’Flaherty. This is it.”

Juno frowned, confused.

“You didn’t want to tell me anything.”

They passed a hand through their hair.

“I didn’t. But you may need to read it. I don’t think you should. The information in there, it’s not… you won’t like it.”

“Why are you giving it to me, then? You really think I can resist looking now?”

“I hope so,” They sighed, “O’Flaherty might try to approach you. Especially after what we pulled today, he’ll want to make a grab at the mayoral office, and he’s gonna need all the help he can get. I think that might be you, or Benzaiten, maybe.” They pinned him with an intense stare, “Juno, you can’t trust him. He’s… There’s precedent.He’ll hurt you if it gets him what he wants.”

“Why do you think he’d ask me, specifically? I’m a botched PI with a missing eye.”

“You-“ They sighed, in a surprisingly good imitation of Benten’s favorite expression: my brother is being an idiot. “You’re not a botched anything, and I can’t tell you why. It’s in the file. If you want to read it – if you _need_ to – to trust me on that point. Well, I’d understand, but you _can’t_ trust him, alright? Promise me not to let him hurt you, okay?”

Juno looked up at them, worried and sad. He noticed small dark circles around their eyes, and wondered if it was because they hadn’t been sleeping or because they’d been crying. Had they cried last time? Would they, once they left Juno for ever?

“Juno? Please?”

“I didn’t want you to leave.”

“What?”

“I didn’t want you to leave.”

Diamond looked stricken.

“Juno, _I_ …”

“I was scared, and I didn’t know what to do. But I didn’t want you to leave.” He wiped raggedly at his burning eyes. “I _loved_ you, and you _left_ me.” Diamond tried to say something, but Juno couldn’t stop now, couldn’t stave off the torrent that first sentence had started. “I kept thinking, maybe it was my fault, maybe I’d done something, maybe I’d…”

“It’s not-“

“I know it’s not true! I still thought about it!”

They took his hand in his, softly cradling it.

“Juno. Juno, please, look at me.” Their other hand came to rest on his cheek, wiping at the stray tear there. “I’m sorry,” they whispered when their eyes finally met Juno’s, “I’ll never say it enough. Lying to you... leaving you... that was the worst mistake I ever made. I’ve never stopped loving you, I never will, and I’m so so _so_ sorry I ever made you feel like you weren’t enough. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I meant it then, and I mean it now. And I know being away won’t change any of it.”

They fixed him with their stare for a few more moments, before dropping both of their hands from his skin. Their eyes were red-rimmed, and they looked away, taking a big gulp of air before talking again.

“We’re here. We should both… go.”

As they said it, Juno finally noticed the ship had stopped moving, making its stop so Juno and Peter could leave before taking off to the stars. Taking Diamond with it.

“Diamond?”

They looked back at him.

“Can I kiss you?”

Their eyes widened.

“Juno, I’m not sure-“

“ _Can_ I _kiss_ you?”

He imprisoned their hand in his own, keeping them from turning away from him. They looked lost, searching Juno’s face for a clue, for anything.

“Can I?”

He could hear their breath catch.

“ _Please_.”

Their lips weren’t as he remembered them, rougher, more hesitant, but they melted against him and it felt like maybe Juno was fixing something, repairing something broken, putting a balm on both their wounds. It was a kiss that tasted of goodbyes, but of comfort and love as well, and Juno didn’t, couldn’t regret it.

“Take care of yourself.” He whispered after, keeping their head pressed against one another.

Diamond’s eyes were closed, their long eyelashes brushing against their cheeks. Juno took that last picture of them and locked it inside his heart, a last, final goodbye.

* * *

 

Peter’s expression was tight when he got out of the ship, its door closing immediately behind him. He didn’t resist when Juno collapsed into his arms, though, and Juno hid his face in his shoulder while the spaceship elevated itself towards the sky, then beyond.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come out.” He finally said quietly, his hand on Juno’s back gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly.

Juno raised his head at that, looking him in the eyes.

“I wouldn’t just leave you.”

“That didn’t stop you before.”

Peter’s stare was heated, and Juno caressed his face gently.

“I told you. I learn from my mistakes.”

“Well, maybe your mistake was not to stay with your fiancée.”

“Nureyev…”

“I would have understood.”

Juno placed a hand on Peter’s mouth.

“Peter Nureyev. I love _you_. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Peter stared. Juno stared back. He tried to convey that he was sure : as sure as he’d been when he’d known he’d died; that he loved him, loved him as much as he had when he’d tried to convince himself Peter would be better off without him, as much as he had when he’d came back, Ben yelling in his ear while he scrambled to catch the love of his life before he could take a shuttle off planet.

Trying to tell him he loved him as much as he always would.

Peter finally broke the stand off first, letting out a shuddering breath and pulling Juno to him once again. They hugged each other tight, until Peter’s hands stopped trembling, until Juno’s chest stopped hurting.

“I missed you.” Said Juno. “I want to go home.”

Peter kissed him.

* * *

 

Juno was welcomed home by Benzaiten pulling him into a bear hug almost immediately. Rita wanted a hug as well, and Mick, who’d accompanied Benten, claimed his last but managed to hold onto Juno so long the poor lady almost fell asleep in his grasp.

That was what Juno was doing now. Sleeping, so entangled with his octopus of a twin brother Peter was surprised he could still breath. The frown on his face had finally disappeared, and he looked almost peaceful right then.

Rita had insisted to put on her show, saying Juno needed to catch up, but he’d been almost already asleep by then and the tv was now flashing images silently in front of Rita, who was beginning to yawn more than she opened her eyes.

Peter couldn’t help thinking about those long minutes, during which he’d fully expected to have Juno disappear on him, in the arms of Diamond, never to be seen again. He couldn’t affirm with any kind of certainty he wouldn’t have chased after them, wouldn’t have tried to claim his lady back by any means necessary.

But Juno _had_ come back. He’d made a choice, thought out, deliberate, painful, of letting Diamond go for Peter. His words had resonated loud and clear in Peter’s head, maybe louder and clearer than he’d ever heard them before from him.

Was it really enough? That Juno had chosen him? Enough to make him happy? To close the dripping wound he still sported in his now singular eye? Seeing the way he looked at Diamond -like the sight of them split him right open - had awoken a specific kind of fear in Peter.  
Would Juno come to hate him? Would he look at him, with red-rimmed eyes and tell him he’d been the one to destroy him one too many time, to break him for good?

“Rita?”

She groaned more than answered, but her eyes opened, which probably meant she’d actually heard him.

“You hacked into Diamond’s comms at some point, didn’t you?”

“Mhm.”

“Would you be able to do that again, if I asked you to?”

“Mhm! Mhm?”

“I don't know yet.”

Juno hadn’t lied to him. Peter knew he wouldn’t. But he thought his lady was wrong on one account.  
He still loved Diamond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you liked it and that you cried at least once (if you cry on your computer, the frankly ridiculous amount of moisture I lost crying over my own fic might come back to me. Thats science u.u)
> 
> If you're wondering, in the first version of it, Diamond was supposed to die, and then, I just liked them too much, because I am a sap and almost I made them my dream date but with half of the flaws I hate the most.
> 
> Honeslty, I wish I had more time to explore them more, to explain the whole alternate universe I created around this story, and also to make a Diamond Juno Peter Triad. So this is all for now, but I will write more about them when I have the time (not right away, sadly)  
> Talking about more writing, there are several "deleted scene" from this fic, that I will put up in a bit, as some kind of bonus.
> 
> Please please please tell me what you thought of this, I'm really curious and I really want to know what you liked, didn't like, what you think of Diamond and just everything. I dont know, I worked so long on this in semi secret, I just want to be able to exchange on it now.  
> Anyways, Imma get that sweet sweet sleepies right, bc it is late enough to be early over there.
> 
> I love you all,  
> Cyd


End file.
